Cranky Fibro Girl

Harnessing the healing power of snark

Thursday Thirteen #27: Thirteen Books That Have Changed My Life

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1. Codependent No More by Melody Beattie

2. Simple Abundance by Sarah Ban Breathnach

3. Take Time For Your Life by Cheryl Richardson

4. The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron

5. A Return To Love by Marianne Williamson

6. Loving what Is by Byron Katie

7. Ask And It Is Given by Jerry and Esther Hicks

8. The Lightworkers Way by Doreen Virtue

9. The Joy Diet by Martha Beck

10. Do You Think I’m Beautiful by Angela Thomas

11. Captivating by John and Staci Eldridge

12. You Matter More Than You Think by Leslie Parrott

13. The Highly Sensitive Person by Elaine Aron

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The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

Thursday Thirteen #26: 13 Fictional Characters I’d Like To Meet

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1. Sherlock Holmes

2. Bishop Blackie Ryan

3. Nuala Ann McGrail

4. Chuck and Rosemarie O’Malley

5. Sean Dillon

6. Fr. Tim and Cynthia Kavanaugh

7. Miss Jane Marple

8. Hercule Poirot

9. Betsy (Ray), Tacy (Kelly), and Tib (Mueller)

10. Meg and Charles Wallace Murray

11. Vicky Austin

12. Canon Tallis

13. Polly O’Keefe


Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

Thursday Thirteen #25: 13 TV Events That Felt As Real As If They’d Happened To People I Actually Knew

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1. Pretty much everything that ever happened on Little House on the Prairie, including when Albert was dying of leukemia,

2. And when the entire town of Walnut Grove blew itself up rather than fall into the hands of an unscrupulous businessman.

3. When the Chief died on Gimme A Break. (OK, so this one did actually happen to a real person.)

4. When Alex P. Keaton drove cross country on Family Ties in order to meet Ellen at the train station to prevent her from marrying her boyfriend, and to tell her that he loved her.

5. When Nancy Drew was kidnapped by the Howard Hughes-type recluse on The Nancy Drew/Hardy Boys Mystery Hour and it almost prompted Frank Hardy to admit how much he loved her.

6. When Carter was stabbed on ER, and as he fell to the floor, wounded, he looked over and saw Lucy also lying on the floor, mortally wounded.

7. When Ari shot and killed Kate on NCIS.

8. When Deputy Chief Brenda Johnson’s entire staff on The Closer, after fighting her for an entire year, all threatened to quit if she was fired from the department.

9. When Colby Granger turned out to be a spy for the Chinese on Numb3rs.

10. When Booth dropped everything and rushed to New Orleans to save Bones when she was unjustly accused of murder on Bones.

11. When Angela finally realized how much she cared for Hodgins after he survived being buried alive in a car on Bones.

12. When Keith Mars reveals to Veronica that he’s just gotten back the results of a paternity test that prove that she is, in fact, his daughter on Veronica Mars.

13. Also on Veronica Mars when Cassidy “Beaver” Casablancas blows up the airplane carrying his archenemy, and you thought that the explosion had also killed Keith Mars.

Oops, I forgot! 14. When Col. Henry Blake was killed in a plane crash on his way back home from Korea on M*A*S*H.


Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

Thursday Thirteen #24: 13 Misheard Lyrics

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Thirteen Misheard Lyrics

1. “Sleep in heavenly peas.”-the Christmas carol, Silent Night: “Sleep in heavenly peace.

“2. “Gladly, the cross-eyed bear.”-the hymn, Gladly The Cross I’d Bear.

3. “There’s a bathroom on the right.”-Creedence Clearwater Revival, Bad Moon Rising: “There’s a bad moon on the rise.”

4. “Excuse me while I kiss this guy.”-Jimi Hendrix, Purple Haze: “Excuse me while I kiss the sky.”

5. “Dead ants are my friends; they’re blowin’ in the wind.”-Bob Dylan, Blowin’ In The Wind: “The answer my friend, is blowin’ in the wind.”

6. “Midnight after you’re wasted.”-Marcia Muldaur, “Midnight at the Oasis“.

7. “The girl with colitis goes by.”-The Beatles, Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds: “The girl with kaleidoscope eyes.”

8. “She’s got a chicken to ride.”-The Beatles, Ticket to Ride: “She’s got a ticket to ride.”

9. “I’ll be your xylophone waiting for you.”-The Foundations, Build Me Up Buttercup: “I’ll be beside the phone waiting for you.”

10. “Are you going to starve an old friend?”-Simon and Garfunkel, Scarborough Fair: “Are you going to Scarborough Fair?”

11. “Baking carrot biscuits.”-Bachman-Turner Overdrive, Taking Care of Business.

12. “Donuts make my brown eyes blue.”-Crystal Gale, Don’t It Make My Brown Eyes Blue.

13. “Got a lot of lucky peanuts.”-Frankie Valley and the Four Seasons, Let’s Hang On: “Got a lot of love between us.”

From 1001 Dumbest Things Ever Said, ed. Steven D. Price


Links to other Thursday Thirteens!


Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

Thursday Thirteen #23: 13 Tourist Questions Asked At Visitors Centers And National Parks

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Thirteen Stupid Tourist Questions
1. Do you have a map of the Iditarod Trail? We’d like to go for a walk now.2. Which beach is closest to the water?

3. Have we made peace with the Indians?

4. Where can we find Amish hookers? We want to buy a quilt.

5. What is the official language of Alaska?

6. What’s the best time of year to watch deer turn into elk?

7. Where are Rhett and Scarlet buried and are they buried together?

8. If you go to a restaurant in Idaho and you don’t want any kind of potato with your meal, will they ask you to leave?

9. I am trying to build a flying saucer. Where do I go for help?

10. Where can I find a listing of jazz funerals for the month?

11. Why did they build the ruins so close to the road?

12. Do you know of any undiscovered ruins?

13. How much of the cave is underground?

From 1001 Dumbest Things Ever Said, ed. Steven D. Price

Links to other Thursday Thirteens!

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

Thursday Thirteen #22: 13 Malaprops From High School And College Music Exams

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Thirteen Malaprops From High School And College Music Examsfrom 1001 Dumbest Things Ever Said, ed. Steven D. Price

  1. A good orchestra is always ready to play if the conductor steps on the podium.

  1. When a singer sings, he stirs up the air and makes it hit any passing eardrums. But if he is good, he knows how to keep it from hurting.

  1. Most authorities agree that music of antiquity was written long ago.

  1. Refrain means don’t do it. A refrain in music is the part you’d better not try to sing.

  1. The correct way to find the key to a piece of music is to use a pitchfork.

  1. A harp is a nude piano.

  1. A fugue was something the Hatfields and the McCoys had.

  1. Diatonic is a low-calorie soda.

  1. Music sung by two people at the same time is called a duel.

  1. It is easy to teach anyone to play the maracas. Just grip the neck and shake him in rhythm.

  1. If they sing without music it is called Acapulco.

  1. A virtuoso is a musician with real high morals.

  1. A trumpet is an instrument when it is not an elephant sound.


Links to other Thursday Thirteens!


Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

Thursday Thirteen #21: 13 Jokes From “Gibbleguts” Ezine

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Thirteen Jokes From “Gibbleguts” Ezine

1. A mathematician, an accountant and an economist apply for the
same job. The interviewer calls in the mathematician and asks,
“What does two plus two equal?” The mathematician replies, “Four.”
The interviewer asks, “Four, exactly?” The mathematician looks
at the interviewer incredulously and says, “Yes, four, exactly.”
Then the interviewer calls in the accountant and asks the same
question, “What does two plus two equal?” The accountant says,
“On average, four — give or take 10 percent — but on average,
four.” Then the interviewer calls in the economist and poses the
same question, “What does two plus two equal?” The economist
gets up, locks the door, closes the blinds, sits down next to the
interviewer, and says, “What do you want it to equal?”

2. Tried in a hostile town, a guy didn’t think he had a chance
of getting off a murder charge, so shortly before the jury retired he
bribed one of the jurors to find him guilty of the lesser crime of
manslaughter. The jury was out for over three days before eventually
returning a verdict of manslaughter. The relieved defendant collared
the bribed juror and said: “Thanks. How ever did you manage it?”
“It wasn’t easy,” admitted the juror. “All the others wanted to acquit you.”

3. A drunk man who smelled like beer sat down on a subway seat
next to a priest. The man’s tie was stained, his face was plastered
with red lipstick, and a half-empty bottle of gin was sticking out of
his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading.
After a few minutes the man turned to the priest and asked, “Say,
Father, what causes arthritis?” “My Son, it’s caused by loose living,
being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol, and a contempt
for your fellow man,” the priest said. “Well, I’ll be damned,” the drunk
muttered, returning to his paper. The priest, thinking about what he
had said, nudged the man and apologized. “I’m very sorry. I didn’t
mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?” “I don’t
have it, Father. I was just reading here that the Pope does,” the man said.”

4. An efficiency expert concluded his lecture with a note of caution.
“You need to be careful about trying these techniques at home.”
“Why?” asked somebody from the audience. “I watched my wife’s
routine at dinner for years,” the expert explained. “She made lots
of trips between the refrigerator, stove, table and cabinets, often
carrying a single item at a time. One day I told her, ‘Honey, why
don’t you try carrying several things at once?” “Did it save time?”
the guy in the audience asked. “Actually, yes,” replied the expert.
“It used to take her 30 minutes to make dinner. Now I do it in ten.

5. An older couple had a son who was still living with them. The parents
were a little worried, as the son has no career plans, so they decided
to do a small test. They took a $10 bill, a Bible and a bottle of whiskey,
and put them on the front hall table. Then they hid, pretending they
were not at home. The test was this: If the son took the money, he
would be a businessman, if he took the Bible, he would be a priest,
but if he took the bottle of whiskey, he would be a drunk. So the parents
hid in the nearby closet and waited nervously. Peeping through the
keyhole, they saw their son arrive and read the note they had left him.
Then, he took the $10 bill, looked at it against the light, and slid it in his
pocket. After that, he took the Bible, flicked through it, and took it.
Finally he grabbed the bottle, opened it, and took an appreciative whiff
to check the quality. Then he left for his room, carrying all three items.
The father slapped his forehead and said, “Darn, it’s even worse than
I could ever have imagined. Our son is going to be a politician!

[Read more…] about Thursday Thirteen #21: 13 Jokes From “Gibbleguts” Ezine

Thursday Thirteen #20: Thirteen Funny Quotes From “Bones”

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Thirteen Funny Quotes From “Bones”1. “Don’t provoke the lunatic.”
–Agent Booth

2.”Dude, what you call being a conspiracy theorist I call being well informed”
-Dr. Jack Hodgins

3.”It took me weeks to collect all those photocopies, I need you, friends don’t let friends photocopy their butts at company Christmas parties”
-Angela to Brennan

4. Brennan: (to Booth) You’re very touchy. Perhaps because of all your skulking around?
Booth: I’m discreet, okay? It’s different. A gentleman is discreet. Okay?

5. Booth: God does not make mistakes.
Angela: I don’t know – putting testicles on the outside doesn’t seem like such a good idea.

6. looking at the reconstruction on the computer)
Angela: How could anybody do this to themselves?
Hodgins: You know, 900 B.C., the Greek ruler Theseus had two men sit in chairs and beat each other to death for entertainment.
(Cam and Angela just stare at Hodgins)
Hodgins: Just saying, it’s nothing new.

7. Brennan: You know, we all have aspects of ourselves we might wish were different.
Zack: Yes, I wanted larger biceps before I became comfortable with my mental acuity.

8. (Hodgins and Angela talking about swings)
Hodgins: I miss that feeling.
Angela: Yeah, me too.
Brennan: I miss organic chemistry class.. those were good times..
Zack: I miss my first microscope
Booth: Yeah and I miss normal people!

9.Brennan: Debris embedded in the remains suggests an explosion.
Booth: So does that giant hole in the wall.

10. Brennan: You said you’ve dealt with manipulative men before.
Angela: Sweetie, this is a psycho killer… Not some loser who wants you to co-sign a loan for his jet-ski.

11. Booth: …the last time Bones saw Epps, it got violent.
Saroyan: You’ll be there to protect her.
Booth: She’s not the one who needs protecting. Bones broke his wrist.
Bones: He touched me with his creepy serial killer hands.
Saroyan: Better not take Dr. Brennan.

12. Booth: (on the phone) Monkeys are Daddy’s favorite! They’re just like people!
Brennan: (interrupting) Actually, three million base pairs of the genome differ in protein encoding and other functional areas.
Booth: What?
Brennan: The differences between chimps and humans.
Booth: I’m talking to a four year old, Bones.

13. Brennan: Committing yourself to one person isn’t in the interest of the species. I mean, you have multiple partners.
Angela: Don’t say it like that – I date.


Links to other Thursday Thirteens!

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It's easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

Thursday Thirteen #19: 13 Malaprops From Grade School, High School, and College Examinations

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1. Louis Pasteur invented a cure for rabbis.

2. The walls of Notre Dame Cathedral are supported by flying buttocks.

3. Sir Francis drake circumcised the world with a 100-foot clipper.

4. Moses led the Hebrews to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread, which is bread without any ingredients.

5. Protons are found in both meat and electricity.

6. The bowels are a, e, i, o, u, and sometimes y.

7. He worked in the government as a civil serpent.

8. The flood damage was so bad they had to evaporate the city.

9. A horse divided against itself cannot stand.

10. Homer wrote The Oddity.

11. Flying saucers are just an optical conclusion.

12. Socrates died from taking a poison called wedlock.

13. Be sure and put some of those neutrons on my salad.

From 1001 Dumbest Things Ever Said, ed. by Steven D. Price


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Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

Thursday Thirteen #18: 2006 In Review

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2006 In Review

January1. The War Of The Rodents Begins

“You know how sometimes in life you start out with these great plans, and then unexpected things happen and you find yourself in a place that you never could’ve imagined? Well, that is happening to me now. But not in a misty, nostalgic, “oh, look at the funny twists of fate” kind of way. It’s more of an, “I wonder how I could erase certain parts of my memory without causing myself actual brain damage” kind of way.Because, through no fault of my own, and totally against my will, I am becoming…an Expert In Rats. Believe me-I have fought this tooth and nail (no pun intended). But these people keep on foisting off all of this unwanted knowledge on me, and unfortunately it’s the kind of knowledge that really sticks with you.”

2. The Name Of My Blog Is Born

“So last weekend my husband and I were at dinner with 3 other couples, and during the course of the conversation the woman next to me informed me that I was going to, and I quote, “H-E-double hockey sticks.” Oh, and not only was I going, but so was my husband. Oh, and not only was he going too, but the fact that he was going was also my fault.

Of course I couldn’t think of any snappy comebacks in the moment, but here are some responses I’ve come up with since then.

-“What?!”

-“Ah, yes, my powers are growing. I must be sure to use them only for good, and never for evil.”

February

3. We Begin The Process Of Divorcing Our Bank

“I decided that I was tired of paying the old bank every month just for the privilege of keeping my money there. So I found a new bank that doesn’t do that, which is very nice. Unfortunately, the new bank is located directly across the street from the old bank, a place I’ve frequented for the last 6 1/2 years, where, in the immortal words of Cheers, “everybody knows my name.”

So instead of being able to drift quietly away into my new banking relationship, letting my old bank have the time and space it needs to mourn the end of our association, I am forced to flaunt my new financial partnership in full view of the bank with whom I’ve just broken up.”

4. I Publicly Embrace My Fear Of Talking On The Phone

“I’ve given this a lot of thought, and I’ve come to the conclusion that there just are not words to describe just how much I love my BlackBerry.

But anyway, the point of all of this is that now I can stay in constant communication with all the people I like without actually having to speak with them on the phone. Because, and this has been a deep, dark secret of mine for a LONG time, I am a “phonophobiac”. Yes, that’s right. I am afraid of calling people on the phone.”

March

5. We Join Forces With The Gamers

“Recently my husband has been excited to find some new friends with which he can play video games. While I am an excellent wife and companion in many ways, I do not share his enjoyment of gaming. So it has been good for him to connect with others who do.

Last weekend one of The Gamers arrived at our house and announced: “I just went to Blockbuster and found The Best Game Ever! You’re a samurai, and you wake up one day, and all of your body parts have been stolen. You have to go out and fight the bad guys who took them so you can like, get your arms back and stuff!”

May

6. We Attempt To Keep Tender, Growing Things Alive

“Up until a few years ago I used to go around bragging all the time about how I had a “black thumb”. Unfortunately it was true that I was spectacularly unsuccessful in keeping alive plants, flowers, and a beta fish. But I never realized just how weird it was that basically I was saying, “You know, I just want to tell you how excited I am about this special talent of mine where I am really good at killing living things.”

Looking back now I really don’t know how my husband and I ever had enough confidence in our abilities to take in and nurture living creatures other than ourselves, given the fact that every time he goes out of town on a trip he has to sit me down, look me in the eye, and remind me to continue eating while he is gone. Or the fact that once my husband was in serious stomach pain for like 5 days, and it wasn’t until the day when he could no longer stand up straight and was walking around the house bent over at a 90 degree angle and I could actually physically overpower him and force him into the car that he went to the doctor to get treated.”

June

7. My Blog Turns 1-Yay!

“Unfortunately I was a little too miserable to notice before, what with the sinus pain and pressure, and the White Hot Nail Of Agony piercing my eardrum, and The Doctor Who Did Not Believe Me, but last Monday, June 12th, was the one year birthday of my blog!”

8. My Brother Gets Married

“So after sleeping for 16 hours, and then laying on the couch for the rest of the day after I got up and staring at the ceiling, I think I have finally recovered from the wedding. I know that as Americans we like to think we are on the leading edge of everything. But speaking as someone whose brother just married into a Polish family, when it comes to wedding receptions, we Americans have NOTHING on the rest of the world!

That was absolutely The Most Fun I have ever had at a wedding reception, and I only wish I had known just how much physical endurance it was going to require of me, so that I could have been preparing for it with a very strict training regimen over the past year.”

August

9. My Podcasts Are Born

“And lo, the heavens did open, and the angels did descend and pour forth their heavenly songs, because today, I created a Podcast. ALL. BY. MY. SELF!

To give you some idea of the magnitude of this achievement, just imagine if a rock, which moments before had been totally inert, suddenly came to life and began to expound on the principles of Quantum Physics in four languages simultaneously. That’s a pretty good metaphor for what happened here today.”

September

10. I Embrace My Inner Grammar Snob

“Apparently my powers have some limits. Because today, I broke my website. And you know what did me in? Pride.

And if there is anything that I am prideful over, it is the correct use of grammar and my own personal correct-grammar-using-abilities. In other words, I am a Grammar Snob.”

October

11. I Discover That Yup, I Was Right. I Really Don’t Like Coffee

“Back when I was in high school peer pressure was easy to spot, and there were always very clear-cut reasons available to me for saying “No”. Smoking? Um, no thanks, on account of all the cancer and all the death. Drinking? Hm, think I’ll pass as I have no desire for my parents to kill me for engaging in such behavior. Sex? I couldn’t stand anyone else’s children; I certainly didn’t want any of my own.

But by the time I finally finished school, got married, and entered my thirties, I began to relax. Surely, I thought, the time of being scorned for being “different” had passed.

Oh silly, naive woman.”

12. The Bank Divorce Continues

“Tomorrow we are going to break up with our bank. And I can’t wait!

Earlier this year I wrote about how I moved some of our accounts over to a new financial institution. Because, as I said, “I decided that I was tired of paying the old bank every month just for the privilege of keeping my money there.” More and more our monthly statements were starting to look like this:

Monthly Service Fees:

Driving past our building on the way to the grocery store: $3.00

Breathing air: $5.00″

December

13. My Secret Identity As A Witch Is Discovered

“My husband and just went to the grocery store to buy some dessert. As we were standing in the ice cream aisle, perusing all the choices, we heard the high-pitched sound of a little boy talking to his dad. Neither one of us really paid any attention to it, until we noticed that it wasn’t stopping. So we both looked up at the exact same moment, just in time to hear him yell, “The witch, daddy, the witch!” over and over again. And he was pointing? Directly at me.”


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Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!