2006 In Review
January1. The War Of The Rodents Begins
“You know how sometimes in life you start out with these great plans, and then unexpected things happen and you find yourself in a place that you never could’ve imagined? Well, that is happening to me now. But not in a misty, nostalgic, “oh, look at the funny twists of fate” kind of way. It’s more of an, “I wonder how I could erase certain parts of my memory without causing myself actual brain damage” kind of way.Because, through no fault of my own, and totally against my will, I am becoming…an Expert In Rats. Believe me-I have fought this tooth and nail (no pun intended). But these people keep on foisting off all of this unwanted knowledge on me, and unfortunately it’s the kind of knowledge that really sticks with you.”
2. The Name Of My Blog Is Born
“So last weekend my husband and I were at dinner with 3 other couples, and during the course of the conversation the woman next to me informed me that I was going to, and I quote, “H-E-double hockey sticks.” Oh, and not only was I going, but so was my husband. Oh, and not only was he going too, but the fact that he was going was also my fault.
Of course I couldn’t think of any snappy comebacks in the moment, but here are some responses I’ve come up with since then.
-“Ah, yes, my powers are growing. I must be sure to use them only for good, and never for evil.”
3. We Begin The Process Of Divorcing Our Bank
“I decided that I was tired of paying the old bank every month just for the privilege of keeping my money there. So I found a new bank that doesn’t do that, which is very nice. Unfortunately, the new bank is located directly across the street from the old bank, a place I’ve frequented for the last 6 1/2 years, where, in the immortal words of Cheers, “everybody knows my name.”
So instead of being able to drift quietly away into my new banking relationship, letting my old bank have the time and space it needs to mourn the end of our association, I am forced to flaunt my new financial partnership in full view of the bank with whom I’ve just broken up.”
4. I Publicly Embrace My Fear Of Talking On The Phone
“I’ve given this a lot of thought, and I’ve come to the conclusion that there just are not words to describe just how much I love my BlackBerry.
But anyway, the point of all of this is that now I can stay in constant communication with all the people I like without actually having to speak with them on the phone. Because, and this has been a deep, dark secret of mine for a LONG time, I am a “phonophobiac”. Yes, that’s right. I am afraid of calling people on the phone.”
5. We Join Forces With The Gamers
“Recently my husband has been excited to find some new friends with which he can play video games. While I am an excellent wife and companion in many ways, I do not share his enjoyment of gaming. So it has been good for him to connect with others who do.
Last weekend one of The Gamers arrived at our house and announced: “I just went to Blockbuster and found The Best Game Ever! You’re a samurai, and you wake up one day, and all of your body parts have been stolen. You have to go out and fight the bad guys who took them so you can like, get your arms back and stuff!”
6. We Attempt To Keep Tender, Growing Things Alive
“Up until a few years ago I used to go around bragging all the time about how I had a “black thumb”. Unfortunately it was true that I was spectacularly unsuccessful in keeping alive plants, flowers, and a beta fish. But I never realized just how weird it was that basically I was saying, “You know, I just want to tell you how excited I am about this special talent of mine where I am really good at killing living things.”
Looking back now I really don’t know how my husband and I ever had enough confidence in our abilities to take in and nurture living creatures other than ourselves, given the fact that every time he goes out of town on a trip he has to sit me down, look me in the eye, and remind me to continue eating while he is gone. Or the fact that once my husband was in serious stomach pain for like 5 days, and it wasn’t until the day when he could no longer stand up straight and was walking around the house bent over at a 90 degree angle and I could actually physically overpower him and force him into the car that he went to the doctor to get treated.”
“Unfortunately I was a little too miserable to notice before, what with the sinus pain and pressure, and the White Hot Nail Of Agony piercing my eardrum, and The Doctor Who Did Not Believe Me, but last Monday, June 12th, was the one year birthday of my blog!”
“So after sleeping for 16 hours, and then laying on the couch for the rest of the day after I got up and staring at the ceiling, I think I have finally recovered from the wedding. I know that as Americans we like to think we are on the leading edge of everything. But speaking as someone whose brother just married into a Polish family, when it comes to wedding receptions, we Americans have NOTHING on the rest of the world!
That was absolutely The Most Fun I have ever had at a wedding reception, and I only wish I had known just how much physical endurance it was going to require of me, so that I could have been preparing for it with a very strict training regimen over the past year.”
“And lo, the heavens did open, and the angels did descend and pour forth their heavenly songs, because today, I created a Podcast. ALL. BY. MY. SELF!
To give you some idea of the magnitude of this achievement, just imagine if a rock, which moments before had been totally inert, suddenly came to life and began to expound on the principles of Quantum Physics in four languages simultaneously. That’s a pretty good metaphor for what happened here today.”
10. I Embrace My Inner Grammar Snob
“Apparently my powers have some limits. Because today, I broke my website. And you know what did me in? Pride.
And if there is anything that I am prideful over, it is the correct use of grammar and my own personal correct-grammar-using-abilities. In other words, I am a Grammar Snob.”
11. I Discover That Yup, I Was Right. I Really Don’t Like Coffee
“Back when I was in high school peer pressure was easy to spot, and there were always very clear-cut reasons available to me for saying “No”. Smoking? Um, no thanks, on account of all the cancer and all the death. Drinking? Hm, think I’ll pass as I have no desire for my parents to kill me for engaging in such behavior. Sex? I couldn’t stand anyone else’s children; I certainly didn’t want any of my own.
But by the time I finally finished school, got married, and entered my thirties, I began to relax. Surely, I thought, the time of being scorned for being “different” had passed.
Oh silly, naive woman.”
12. The Bank Divorce Continues
“Tomorrow we are going to break up with our bank. And I can’t wait!
Earlier this year I wrote about how I moved some of our accounts over to a new financial institution. Because, as I said, “I decided that I was tired of paying the old bank every month just for the privilege of keeping my money there.” More and more our monthly statements were starting to look like this:
Monthly Service Fees:
Driving past our building on the way to the grocery store: $3.00
Breathing air: $5.00″
13. My Secret Identity As A Witch Is Discovered
“My husband and just went to the grocery store to buy some dessert. As we were standing in the ice cream aisle, perusing all the choices, we heard the high-pitched sound of a little boy talking to his dad. Neither one of us really paid any attention to it, until we noticed that it wasn’t stopping. So we both looked up at the exact same moment, just in time to hear him yell, “The witch, daddy, the witch!” over and over again. And he was pointing? Directly at me.”
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very fun TT! excellent recap of the year – and lots of smiles from me as i read!
happy new year!
Love the bank story that cracks me up! And thanks for welcoming me it was really sweet!
You’ve had a very interesting year.
thanks, now instead of working on my thesis, I’m forced to read all your entries from this past year. Seriously, anything that furthers my procrastination is a good thing 🙂
Wish I had the kind of power to stop kids from screaming like that just by looking at them. Maybe you should bottle that and sell it. You’d make a fortune.
Thanks for stopping by my TT.
Thank you for visiting my blog and welcoming me to TT! I can’t believe it. I have finally found someone with my phonophobia!!! I am okay when I am the one receiving the call, but I just about freeze having to make a phone call. As for a drive-thru, I refuse to use one. I will walk through the parking lot in a downpour or blizzard before I use one of those things. My husband thinks I am strange, but at least now I know I am not alone! 🙂
Loved the I don’t like Coffee story! I also like how you posted your favorite posts throughout the year, I’m going to come back and read the others.
Wishing you the best in 2007!
Great list! I agree completely with number 4. I am terrified of talking to people on the phone! I sympathize, you are not alone…I’m so afraid the person won’t know who it is even when it’s family I’m calling. Happy Thursday and Happy New Year!
DK Raymer says
I Love reading your posts! No matter how harried my weeks get, I can always count on you to throw yourself under the bus, just so I’ll feel better! I don’t have bank trouble here in Tiny Tourist Town – well, I do, but it’s different from yours. I’ve banked at the same location 17 years. In that time, it has been bought by larger banks 5 times, changing staff with each turnover. And, since we live in such a transient area, the tellers change weekly – opting for better paying jobs next door at Wendy’s. I hope to find just one familiar face every time I go there, just so I won’t have to show my ID again! Hope you enjoy the rest of your holiday!
Hey Jenny! It was fun to read about the rest of the year you had before I started this blogging thing in August. Your blog is a near guilty pleasure for me every day, since I see so much of myself in you. It’s nice to know I’m not alone. hehe Happy New Years to ya! 🙂
Sounds like a busy year!
My TT13 is up too 🙂
Thanks for visiting my blog! Loved your list…I just started blogging a couple of weeks ago..next year, I will have to go through and post my favorite blogs of the year!
That last part is hilarious! I really hate talking on the phone too. I’m an introvert so I’m much more comfortable typing my words.
i love your year in review, my favorite is you discovering your blog’s name. i try to use my powers for good too….unless my darling husband is being a butt.
thanks so much for stopping by and checking out my tt.
What a great idea for a TT ~ I think I’ll write a post about my year in review sometime before Sunday. It’ll be fun to go back and pick out the high point…and ignore the low ones. 🙂
As a side note, what did you do when the little boy was screaming in the store at you? I think I would have wiggled my nose and nodded my head like that witch on Bewitched just to further freak him out…hehehe.
Hope your 2007 Rocks! Thanks for stopping by!
Christine d'Abo says
I love your recap! I actually work for the company that makes BlackBerry. I’m glad you love it as much as I do. My husband on the other hand, would like to pitch mine. 🙂
ROFLMAO #13 cracked me up 🙂
PRACTiCAL CHiCK says
Don’t you be gittin’ on me fer my grammer…or my granny..you here? 😉
Sorry – I just could NOT resist doing that. Seems like since I started the Legal Research and Writing class things just stand out. 🙂
Thanks for stopping by my TT!!
What an excellent TT!! I loved #13!! Curious what was goign through that kids head!
Happy New Year!
Thomma Lyn says
LOL! Great list. I so relate to being a phonophobic — I don’t like talking on the phone, either. I do it when I have to, but I much prefer electronic means of communication.
Thanks for your sweet welcome to TT on my blog! This TT stuff is fun. 🙂
Thomma Lyn says
LOL! Great list. I so relate to being a phonophobic — I don’t like talking on the phone, either. I do it when I have to, but I much prefer email.
Thanks for your sweet welcome to TT on my blog! This TT stuff is fun. 🙂
Not only did you have an interesting year…but I really like the format that you used to recap.
Happy TT…and Happy New Year!
Amy Ruttan says
LOL, oh man I wish I had of checked out your TT earlier. You had me in such stitches! I’m glad there’s other plant killers out there, or former plant killers. I have managed to keep an orchid alive for three weeks! 🙂
J.R., as usual, you crack me up. Here’s to ’07…Happy New Year!
Mary (Mert) says
Jenny, you year has been something else, hasn’t it? I am glad to have read some of those incidents, in real time. :O) Happy TT!
Oh yeah, another person in the world who isn’t a coffee junkie. I love your list.
Interesting list! I dislike coffee and I can sooo relate to phonophobia..!
Thanks for visiting my TT. All the best to you and yours for the new year!
Love your view of the world! Great slant to it all. Sorry for the he** in Jan…hope you were able to stay friends despite her weirdness and you’re right…she doesn’t get to make that decision!!!
Sorry for my lateness in stopping by — my computer is on the fritz! Have a great New Year! Joely
Thanks for giving me a list of well written posts to read tonight (I haven’t yet read them, but I already know they’ll be well written 🙂
N. Mallory says
The divorcing your bank thing still cracks me up. Reminds me of the episode of Friends when they try to get out of their gym membership.