Thirteen Malaprops From High School And College Music Examsfrom 1001 Dumbest Things Ever Said, ed. Steven D. Price
- A good orchestra is always ready to play if the conductor steps on the podium.
- When a singer sings, he stirs up the air and makes it hit any passing eardrums. But if he is good, he knows how to keep it from hurting.
- Most authorities agree that music of antiquity was written long ago.
- Refrain means don’t do it. A refrain in music is the part you’d better not try to sing.
- The correct way to find the key to a piece of music is to use a pitchfork.
- A harp is a nude piano.
- A fugue was something the Hatfields and the McCoys had.
- Diatonic is a low-calorie soda.
- Music sung by two people at the same time is called a duel.
- It is easy to teach anyone to play the maracas. Just grip the neck and shake him in rhythm.
- If they sing without music it is called Acapulco.
- A virtuoso is a musician with real high morals.
- A trumpet is an instrument when it is not an elephant sound.
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