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Be Afraid. Be Very Afraid.

September 19, 2007 By Jenny Ryan 4 Comments

Today I was working out with my trainer and we got into a discussion about safety. Gym safety is very important to me, seeing as how my number one fitness goal is To Not Die. But after this conversation, I’m not sure that she and I are moving in the same direction as far as our goals go.

My Trainer: “Hey, did I ever tell you that that was the part of my certification exam that I failed?”

Me: “The safety part?”

My Trainer: “Yeah. You know how when you have a client who is short of breath and is showing signs of distress, how you’re supposed to be real careful and conservative with them?”

Me: “Yeah.”

My Trainer: “Well I didn’t do that. I killed ’em.”

Me (not really sure how to respond to that, attempting to unobtrusively gauge the distance between me and the nearest exit.)

My Trainer: “But you know, Jenny, the thing about failing is that you start to think, “‘Hm, maybe I shouldn’t kill people’.”

Me (totally on board with this, and wanting to encourage this train of thought as much as possible.): “I think that is an excellent motto for life.”

Filed Under: Grin And Bear It, People Say The Funniest Things Tagged With: working out with a personal trainer

Lost In Translation

August 2, 2007 By Jenny Ryan 4 Comments

Me: standing on top of a cut-in-half balance ball, swaying madly, attempting to do squats, lift, and then lower a medicine ball all at the same time.

My Trainer: See, don’t you love this? Isn’t this fun?

Me: I think I need to buy you a dictionary.

Filed Under: Grin And Bear It Tagged With: working out with a personal trainer

Why My Gym Is Perfect For Me

January 30, 2007 By Jenny Ryan 18 Comments

My trainer: “OK, next you’re going to do this back machine.”

Me: “OK.”

My trainer: “So you sit here…”

Me: “Yeah”

My trainer: “…and you hold these handles…”

Me: “Uh huh”

My trainer: “…and make sure that your chest is pressed against this piece here.”

Me: “OK”

My trainer: “And if you’re ovulating, like I think I might be right now…”

Me: with a whiplash-inducing head whip in order to convey the very important message of, WTF?!

My trainer: “…then your nipples WILL hurt.”

Me: “Um..OK, thanks. That’s good to know.”

Filed Under: CFG Says, What?!, Grin And Bear It, People Say The Funniest Things Tagged With: the joys of being a woman, working out with a personal trainer

Pure Evil

January 23, 2007 By Jenny Ryan 9 Comments

Today at the gym.

My trainer: “OK, now I want you to go down into lunge position. And when you’re down I want you to stay down there and just pulse 20 times.”

Me: “We have a name for these at my house.”

My trainer: “Oh yeah? What’s that?”

Me: “We call these ‘Pure Evil’.”

As I’m getting ready to do the next set I see my trainer walking towards me with a set of free weights in her hands.

Me: “I wonder what’s worse than pure evil?”

My trainer: “Pure evil with weights?”

Filed Under: Grin And Bear It Tagged With: working out with a personal trainer

Attracting Like-Minded Souls

January 16, 2007 By Jenny Ryan 4 Comments

Image courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

“Isn’t ‘hiney’ a fun word?”, my trainer asked me this morning as she ordered me to perform infinity reps of hamstring raises, abductor raises, and straight leg raises, all the while exhorting me to “squish” mine.

That really wasn’t what I had in mind when I dreamed about finding other people who share my love of all things “ass”.

Filed Under: Grin And Bear It Tagged With: working out with a personal trainer

Back In The Saddle Again

December 6, 2006 By Jenny Ryan 6 Comments

Because I was so sick with pneumonia, I had to stop working out for about two months. Today I went to train upper body, and Friday will be the first day I’ve trained lower body since I got sick.

As we were making the appointment for Friday my trainer said, “When we do lower body I’m gonna be nice to you. I’m gonna give you a break in between exercises.”

“Great!”

“Yeah. After every exercise you’re gonna do some abs. That’ll be your break.”

“Uh,…thank you?”

Filed Under: Grin And Bear It Tagged With: working out with a personal trainer

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