Cranky Fibro Girl

Harnessing the healing power of snark

I’d Like What You’re Smoking, Please

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Dear Anyone Who Wants To Hire Me As A Spanish Tutor,

If you call me at 8:00 PM on Saturday night to ask me to tutor your child, and then mention that their exam is on Wednesday, and that they’ve been having a really hard time all semester, and that they “had a bad teacher” last year, and so are basically asking me to catch your child up on a year and a half of Spanish in THREE DAYS, then don’t get pissy when I tell you that it’s impossible and that there’s nothing I can do.

BECAUSE THERE’S NOTHING I CAN DO.

Oh and also-the fact that I specifically told you that I wouldn’t lie to you and take your money for something I couldn’t do?

Yeah-you’re welcome.

A Little Learnin’ Is A Dangerous Thing

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Today I was talking with a woman who works in an elementary school about the effect of sex ed on one of her 5th graders.

Apparently he was causing problems in his classroom, so she pulled him into the hallway to ask him what was going on.

“I just can’t do my work today,” he declared dramatically.

“Well, why not?” she asked.

Confident in the unassailable excuse provided him by his newfound knowledge he replied, “Because of MY PUBERTY!”