“Just because I have breasts, that doesn’t mean I have magical powers over infants.”
-Brennan to Booth on “Bones”
Intelligent Design
Given that my days are filled with writing, teaching, and managing our household, I spend a lot of my time asking questions. My question range from wondering about the meaning of life, to wondering just how so many disgusting things can come out of such small, furry beings. And why do we let them live with us, again?
But I am only one person, and so obviously I alone cannot formulate all the questions that need to be posed about our human existence.
This fact was brought home to me last night as my husband and I were watching an old episode of “Top Gear”, because I realized that never in life had it occurred to me to ask,
“Can a nun drive a monster truck?”
So clearly, in an effort to meet this evolutionary need, that is why God made boys.
Has It Really Come To This?
The Best Thing I Heard This Weekend
Image courtesy of digitalphotos.net.
“The pan fire has become a van fire!”
–Jeremy Clarkson of “Top Gear” to his co-hosts, Richard Hammond and James May, as their show on caravans (campers) comes to a roaring end, after Jeremy’s attempt at cooking lunch destroys not only their caravan, but that of the complete strangers who were unfortunately parked right next to them.
Suddenly, Conjugating Verbs Doesn’t Seem So Bad
Actually, I really do enjoy my job of tutoring high school kids in Spanish. But there are times, like when I’m having to conjugate the verb “to be” for the eighty-seven bazillionth time that session, that I am severely tempted to claw out my own eyes, just for a change of pace.
But then last night I watched an episode of “Top Gear” and learned that some people’s jobs involve being able to successfully pass the (auto) “industry standard” Escaping From Army Snipers test.
All things considered, I think I’ll stick with grammar.
I Don’t Think That’s Too Much To Ask From A Car
Clear And Present Signs Of My Unfortunate Dorkitude
My Kind Of Math
While watching the Science Channel TV show entitled, “Most of Our Universe is Missing“, I learned the following helpful model which explains how the composition of the Universe breaks down.
5% is composed of atoms
21% is composed of “dark matter”, which no one can prove exists
and the remaining 75% is composed of “dark energy”, which no one actually understands
Now this is the kind of math that I can totally get behind, math which basically says “Um, yeah, we don’t actually know so…let’s just go with ‘magic’.”
So, thanks so much, World’s Top Cosmologists, but could I just make one, tiny suggestion? The next time you need to come up with a model which basically rests upon The Presumption Of Magical Particles, hows about you just come to me first? I’m way less expensive than launching satellites into space and can come up with just as magical a solution, and then with all that money we’ve just saved we can apply ourselves to some important issues here on earth. Such as convincing the CW not to cancel Veronica Mars before we learn whether or not Logan and Veronica can ever work out all their problems and become the happy, stable, staying-together-forever kind of couple that we are looking for in our television viewing. (And yes, I AM bitter!!)
Just a thought.
Sometimes I Am Cranky
Last night my husband and I were watching the Mythbusters test the myth that diving underwater will protect you if someone is shooting at you.
As they were explaining the rig they were going to build that would allow them to shoot some ENORMOUS guns into water in the middle of Jamie’s shop, my husband paused the show (and let us all hail the awesomeness that is TIVO!) to share his thoughts on the matter.
My husband: You know, I bet they could just calculate that. They know what kind of drag the bullet has…
Me (interrupting, because I was kind of being bitchy last night): Dude, nobody wants to watch people just sitting around doing equations. People don’t tune in to see Mathbusters!
I Just Love The Mythbusters
