On today’s episode, NCIS is tasked with protecting their Medical Examiner, Dr. Donald “Ducky” Mallard, and his 96-year old, dementia-ridden, Welsh Corgi owning mother.
Dr. Mallard and Special Agent Caitlin Todd open the door to the dining room of the Mallard house to find that Special Agent Tony DiNozzo has been roped into blowdrying one of Mrs. Mallard’s five dogs.
Ducky: “Mother, may I present Caitlin? She works with Tony and me.”
Mrs. Mallard: spits at Kate across the table.
Ducky: “Mother, we talked about this. Caitlin is here to protect us.”
Mrs. Mallard: “Show me your knickers.”
Kate (completely taken aback): “Um, ma’am?”
Mrs. Mallard: “Your underwear, missy.”
Tony looks up, quite interested in the direction this conversation is taking.
Mrs. Mallard: “One can always tell a woman’s intention from her panties.”
Tony smirks across the table at Kate while giving “Contessa” a final brushing.
Tony: “That’s always been my philosophy.”
From Season Two, “The Meat Puzzle”