Cranky Fibro Girl

Harnessing the healing power of snark

A “Dear John” Letter To My Spammers

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Goodbye, LevitraValiumSoma,

Jenny

Things That Make You Say, “What?!”: More Spam

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Today I received this extremely helpful and thought-provoking email:

“Listen to the voice of your penis. He is asking to get Penis Enlarge Patch.”

And I thought, “Dude, if anyone’s ‘stuff’ actually started speaking to them, I think they would have problems W-A-Y beyond the scope of anything a penis patch could help them with.”

Things That Make You Say, “What?!”: Spam

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Image courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

An unfortunate side effect of my blog gaining more and more visibility is that it is apparently also bringing me to the attention of more and more spammers.

Usually I don’t even look at the spam, preferring instead to spend my time strengthening my spam filters and wishing for a way to somehow attach a tiny but powerful blowgun to all spammers’ computers, so that anytime they even thought about sending out more spam they would instantly be flooded by a multitude of sharp, poisonous darts.

But the other day I received an email that actually made me stop in my tracks and do a double take and, committed as I am to bringing you the humor in everyday life, I can’t not share it here:

“Hi, may i present you freshest hot stuff? 😉

I am ready to kill myself and eat my dog, (emphasis mine) if medicine prices here are bad.

Look, the site and call me 1-800 if its wrong..

My dog and I are still alive :)”

Phew! I’m so relieved that enough people were sucked in by your scheme that you have not been forced to commit horrible acts of violence against yourself or your pet!