Cranky Fibro Girl

Harnessing the healing power of snark

A Review: Havi Brooks And The Procrastination Dissolve-O-Matic

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A couple of weeks ago I wrote about how I have giant Internet crush on the very cool Havi Brooks.

She is an expert in patterns and habits, specifically;

-how to gently and compassionately notice the patterns that are keeping you stuck

-how NOT to beat yourself up over the fact that you have patterns that keep you “stuckified”

-how to gather important information from these stuckified places

-and how to use that information to gently and easily create new patterns to get you where you actually want to be.

Havi has created a lot of great products to help us with our own, personal destuckification, such as her “Emergency Calming Techniques which I reviewed in an earlier post.

My other favorite product, which I almost bought just for the name alone, is her “Magical Procrastination-Dissolving Fairy Wonder Dust.”

Most of the other things I’ve tried in order to help me get past my procrastination start with the assumption that, because I am experiencing some temporary procrastination, I am “bad”. Quite often I have already made this assumption about myself, so the new person or technique begins this process by joining with me in agreeing that I am somehow wrong, and basically just giving me some more ways that my Inner Slave Driver can use to beat me up some more.

But not Havi. She starts out by telling me that I’m okay. Yes, I am temporarily experiencing some “stuckness”, but that’s okay. That’s just life, and my “stuckness” does not mean anything who I fundamentally am.

She helps me meet myself exactly where I am with kindness and compassion, which in and of itself goes a long way toward dissolving the resistance I’m feeling to doing the things I want-or need-to do.

Then, when I’m in this gentler place, she gives me a simple-and slightly wacky-technique I can use to help soften the rest of my resistance.

Just for fun I decided to track this process for a bit, and these are a few of the tasks on which I used my magical fairy dust over the past week:

-cleaning the cat box
-taking out the trash
-calling the phone company to report a problem with our phone line
-making a vet appointment for one of the cats
-making a phone call I’d been dreading for a week
-writing a new blog post and announcing it on Twitter
-answering 2 emails which I’d been avoiding
-emailing a friend to ask for some help with a project I’m working on

My application of this technique also had an unexpected benefit. As you know if you’ve been reading this blog for a while, a few months ago I was diagnosed with fibromyalagia, and I’m having to re-learn how to be me, in my life, with this new health situation. It involves a lot of trial, and error, and bashing around on this occasionally steep new learning curve.

So one day last week I had a list of things I thought I should be able to accomplish, but I was feeling very reluctant to actually work on any of them. So I applied a liberal dose of my fairy wonder dust, and was able to get through maybe a third of my list. However, when I got to that point and actually stopped for a moment I realized that I was in a fair amount of pain, and instead of working anymore I needed to take some medicine and go rest.

So instead of just encouraging me to push my way through the pain so I could complete my list, the Dissolve-O-Matic helped me see that my procrastination was actually there for a very specific reason; to help me stop working and deal with my pain so that I could feel better.

Here, in Havi’s own words, is what’s included in this seriously, you-need-to-have-this kit:

1. “MAGICAL PROCRASTINATION-DISSOLVING FAIRY WONDER DUST (the instant-help-right-now guide)”

2. “THE E-BOOK: DISSOLVE PROCRASTINATION (108 pages of pure unadulterated problem-solving)”

3. “Bonus mp3 recordings of me (Havi) doing the emergency genius technique with real, live people who are in the throes of stuckness. This is a great way to experience how it’s done in a powerful, visceral, body-memory kind of way so you can get even better at doing it on your own.

So if any of this feels like something that could help you get through your stuck spots a little bit more easily and gently, just click on the graphic at the top of this post, or you can click here.

And here’s to all of us learning how to be just a little bit kinder and gentler with ourselves.

A Quick Reminder

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Just in case you haven’t signed up yet, there’s still time to register for Havi Brook’s “Stuff Havi Thinks You Should Know About How to Get Really Really Great Testimonials, Recommendations & Referrals Without Having To Feel Gross and Horrible” class this Sunday.

Here’s an excerpt from the the post she wrote today which talks about what we will be learning :

My thing: we destuckify and we make practical changes.

The part that interests me in all this is figuring out how to dissolve the fear behind the thing that isn’t working, and then finding ways to make it work better when it is working.

So in this class I’m teaching on Stuff Havi Thinks You Should Know About How to Get Really Really Great Testimonials, Recommendations & Referrals Without Having To Feel Gross and Horrible, my whole goal is to help people do both.

The destuckifying part is dissolving the ew and the this is uncomfortable and the people will hate me so you can share your thing with the people who need it.

The systems part is where I tell you exactly what you need to say and do so that no one will ever have to feel uncomfortable.

It’s where I tell you how you get people to trip over themselves trying to help you promote your thing (see? there’s your thing again) without even necessarily knowing that this is what they’re doing.

But not in a manipulative way. In a helping-your-Right-People-feel-safe-and-comfortable way.

Important Bonus Information From Havi On How To Get A Discount On The Price

Also: you save $100 by being able to answer one of two questions and since I am an incredibly nice person, you can get the answers to those two questions by reading Naomi’s post where beans are spilled.

A Review: Havi Brooks And Her Emergency Calming Techniques

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A couple of weeks ago I wrote about how I have giant Internet crush on the very cool Havi Brooks.

She is an expert in patterns and habits, specifically;

-how to gently and compassionately notice the patterns that are keeping you stuck

-how NOT to beat yourself up over the fact that you have patterns that keep you “stuckified”

-how to gather important information from these stuckified places

-and how to use that information to gently and easily create new patterns to get you where you actually want to be.

Havi has created a lot of great products to help us with our own, personal destuckification, and one of my favorites is her “Emergency Calming Techniques” kit, which includes

-a detailed e-book

-3 MP3 audios leading you through different calming techniques, according to whatever level of “freaking out” that you are currently experiencing (“emergency freakouts”, “when you need a dose of calm”, and a practice in “refining the art of calming down”)

-and an emergency “cheat sheet” for quick reference to the different calming techniques

One of the things I found most helpful about the e-book was the chapter that explains why, when we try a new personal growth technique, even if we’re really excited about it and committed to regularly practicing it in our everyday lives, it so often ends up not working for us. I can really relate to that right now, since I just spent this week gathering up all the programs I’ve personally bought over the past 7 years or so and then discarded. I want to clear out some space to try out some new things, and I was stunned to find that my “collection” takes up about a third of our den.

Of course, now that I’ve read this part of the e-book the explanation seems so obvious. But obviously it isn’t, as both my den and my credit card can attest. 😛

As Havi explains it, we humans are a complicated bunch, existing on a whole bunch of levels at the same time: physical, energetic, emotional, mental, and awareness. Yet most of us tend to hang out in the one or two levels that are most comfortable for us, and a great majority of the “helping” services and products that are out there are also specifically geared towards one, or maybe two levels at most.

But if we really want to make changes that work, and that last, we need to address our spots of “stuckification” on all the different levels. And that is what her e-book and her audios teach us how to do. First she gives a brief explanation of each of the five levels, and then she teaches you 10 Calming Techniques-5 you can perform “right out in the open”, and 5 to perform “behind closed doors”.

My favorite technique is called the Full Face Finger Flow, which combines activating certain pressure points on your face with specific calming, compassionate self-talk.

Which brings up a very good point: If you’re not really into anything “woo-woo”, or “wacky” (Havi’s word for it), this package probably isn’t for you. But it you enjoy exploring things like energy medicine (things like EFT and energy meridians) and self-actualizing techniques, I can’t recommend it highly enough. I have learned how to be so much kinder to myself by practicing these techniques, instead of automatically judging myself and beating myself up every time I bump up against a pattern or belief that is keeping me “stuckfied” and in pain. It’s really nice to know how to help myself in these situations, rather than just making myself feel worse.

If any of this feels like something that could help you get through your stuck spots a little bit more easily and gently, just click on the graphic at the top of this post, or you can click here.

And here’s to all of us learning how to be just a little bit kinder and gentler with ourselves.

A Little Linky Love

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Today I thought I’d do a post telling you all about the latest cool people and events I’ve found lately on Teh Internetz.

1. I was recently introduced to the blog of Jenny, “The Bloggess, whose posts are so funny I frequently find myself crying, because I’m laughing so hard. She’s not really suitable for work (NSFW), but holy crap is she hysterical. You should definitely read her if you need some perking up. The correspondence between her and “Nancy W. Kappes, Paralegal” alone makes her blog worth reading.

2. Secondly, my awesome friend and coach, Lynne, has recently started an Internet Radio Show with her awesome friend and fellow coach, Christine, entitled, “Embracing the Polarities of Life: Irreverent and Radical Coaching Conversations with Christine and Lynne”. You do have to set up an account on Blog Talk Radio in order to listen to the live show and participate in the live chat, but it’s really easy to do, and very much worth it. You can also download previous shows and listen to them on your iPod or other portable music player. Today’s show is called, “Reclaiming Our Inner Sense of Timing: The Seduction of Yes~”

“Ever notice how good things look from a distance but then up close they shape shift into obligation rather than opportunity? You know the story, that thing you said yes to weeks ago sounded so fun or so easy to do way back then, yet when the time approaches you’re asking yourself “what was I thinking?” Saying yes to one thing always means saying no to something else. On this show we’ll burst the seductive bubble of believing we can say “yes” to every pretty thing that passes by and still hold onto our inner sense of timing.”

The show airs at 12pm Mountain Time, 2pm Eastern Time. See ya there!

3. I’ve known about Jennifer Louden, “The Comfort Queen” for a while now, but I was recently re-introduced to her work through a virtual retreat she conducted back in January. She has created a fantastic new online space for women called “The Comfort Cafe and Life Spa“, which I cannot recommend highly enough!

Each month there is a theme that we all sort of work on together-February’s was “Self Trust”, March’s has been “Resourcing”, and in April we will be talking about “Inspiration”.

You get an incredible amount of content for the monthly subscription fee, which at the present moment is only $12/month. There are message boards, frequent email “dollops”, a monthly teleclass, a monthly podcast with some sort of “Wisdom Expert”, Weekly Questions from her book, The Life Organizer to help us create a mindful week/life, and all kinds of other goodies.

It’s just been an amazing experience to connect with so many like-minded women, and if you are looking for your own support community, I would definitely recommend that you check it out!

4. One of my newest internet crushes is on the very cool Havi Brooks, who I discovered through Jennifer Louden’s work. Havi bills herself as a “destuckification” and “biggification” expert, and just the fact that she created her own words to describe her work makes me totally want to follow everything she does.

Plus, she sells what is probably the most perfect product for me, EVER, in the history of the entire universe:



You know, since I can sometimes tend to be a little bit of a Catastrophizing Drama Queen, uh, “tightly wound” sometimes.

I also have her


which is a deceptively simple, but unbelievably powerful technique that has helped me when I’ve felt like I’m stuck in a place where I’m just hitting my head over and over on the same, scary, painful brick wall.

I’m signed up to go to Jennifer Louden’s Writing Retreat this summer, and Havi is going to be there as well. I can’t wait to meet such cool people in person!!

5. My other latest internet crush is on the unbelievably prolific author, Isabel Joely Black. She writes a series of books telling the story of a world called Amnar

“THE STORY

Everything in Io’s life is about to change. She’s grown up fixing saddles for her older sister and Daar, the errand-runners in a city on the brink of war.

She believes she’s about to join in a fight to liberate the city from the oppressive forces of an Empire threatening to destroy them.

Except she’s about to find out that in fact, she’s destined to become the next leader of the very Empire she hates.

And she doesn’t have any choice about this. The man she was convinced was her sworn enemy is about to become her very own Servant…”

I have become completely captivated by this story, and the best part is that she releases a free podcast of a chapter every Friday, as part of TGIAD, or, “Thank God it’s Amnar Day.” You can download them through her website, or you can subscribe via iTunes.

6. Last but not least, I have become totally enamored with Twitter. And so, luckily for me, all of these amazingly cool people can also be found there, in my newest favorite playground.

The Bloggess

Isabel Joely Black, aka “The Charm Quark”

Jennifer Louden

Havi Brooks

And one special, extra bonus person: My sharp and funny friend, Karen, of Square Peg People.

Have a fabulous Monday everyone!

The Best Thing I Heard This Weekend

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From my friend, Jill Badonsky, author of The Awe-manac:

“March was originally the first month on the early Roman calendar. Its name honors Mars, the Roman god of war. To honor Mars, it’s the Awe-Manac Month of Unleashing Your Inner Warrior On All Tormenting Thoughts And Unfulfilling Actions Keeping You Captive.”

Right on!

“The Awe-manac” Blog Tour

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1awe-cover-smaller

Back in 2004 I attended the first ever in-person retreat for Artella, the art magazine founded by Marney K. Makridakis.

One of the speakers at the retreat was the very funny and inspiring Jill Badonsky, whose latest book is entitled The Awe-manac: A Daily Dose of Wonder. Based on the idea of The Old Farmer’s Almanac, The “Awe-manac” contains 365 days worth of prompts, quotes, and exercises to help inspire your own personal creativity. Here is today’s entry:

feb-17-whole-day

I am fortunate today to be the featured stop of Jill’s “Awe-manac” blog tour, so please make sure to give her a very warm welcome here to “Using My Powers For Good”.

Hi, Jill, and welcome.

I have had the privilege of meeting you in real life, so I know what a funny person you are. But in the preface to The Awe-Manac you write that, “While writing this book I experienced one of THE darkest shadows of my life in terms of loss, hardship, confusion, estrangement, renegade bio-chemistry, mental gridlock, and failure to use my emergency brake.” What role, if any, did humor play in helping you to survive this period in your life?

Surprisingly, sometimes I take things way too seriously. However, when meeting up with the perfect storm of family drama-laced abysmality intersecting with turncoat biochemistry when I was writing the book wasn’t one of those times.

The writing of The Awe-manac was like an escape into bliss-filled mirth, something I perfected during a rather screwed-up childhood for which I’m ever-so grateful. I sometimes think the greater difficulty I experience, the more raw and available my humor is. When I don’t use my energy to suppress the rancid darkness, it is available for lightening up. I was laughing out loud as I wrote the book, rather surprised at the humor I was being delivered and wondering if others would find it as funny as I did. Additionally, watching Ellen, The Daily Show and The Colbert Report was like fueling my funny bone. All three of which I would watch in order to put me in the appropriate mood for writing.

How do you see the relationship between creativity and spirituality? Do you think the practice of creativity could be considered a spiritual practice?

Creativity is a spiritual practice in my opinion. I believe we create our reality with the thoughts we choose to paint our existence, our attitude and our perspective. And it’s so clear that our ability to be creators is our divinity.

When we are in the creative journey we are most fulfilled, the timelessness and flow seems to be provided by a higher power and our creations have the potential of making an incredible difference in the lives of those who sense, see, hear, and touch them. When we overcome the demons that surface frequently when we are engaged in creative endeavors, we are strengthening our spirit with grace, patience, confidence and resourcefulness.

Spirituality comes into play in the Kaizen-Muse Creativity Coaching Model by facilitating our higher self in accordance with our creative call.

My favorite Awe-Manac observance so far this year has been January 22nd, “Cat Appreciation Day”. Cats feature heavily here on my blog, and I know that you are a cat lover yourself. If cats could speak, what do you think they would tell us, for example, about “How to use our powers for good?” or “How to live with more awe and wonder in our everyday lives?”

I believe that cats are wonderful role models for Zen-thinking and forgiveness. I stepped on my cat’s tail by mistake this morning and he instantly forgave me and forgot about it when I held him.

Cats would tell us to be vigilant about being present, be ready to swat a low-flying idea when it passes within our batting range, and when in doubt, wash. Nap frequently so these things are easier..

Jenny, thanks for asking such thought provoking questions and for having a blog that uses its power for good. I enjoyed being here.

It was my pleasure!

jillJill Badonsky, M.Ed., is an internationally recognized workshop leader, keynote speaker, creativity-coaching pioneer, multimedia artist, storyteller, humorist and business entrepreneur. She has creatively consulted with Seventeen and Bust magazine, filmmakers, comedians, storytellers, artists, business CEOs, writers, women in business and groups through-out the country. Her background is in occupational therapy, writing, performance, marketing, educational media and instructional design. She is an award winning public speaker, writes a monthly column for Creativity Portal and is editor of the monthly Muse Flash.

Jill is also founder and director of Kaizen-Muse Creativity Coaching – a ground-breaking model for coaching resistant and sensitive creative people or anyone wanting to create a positive change in their lives. She is author of The Nine Modern Day Muses (and a Bodyguard): 10 Guides to Creative Inspiration for Artists, Poets, Lovers, and Other Mortals Wanting to Live a Dazzling Existence and the upcoming book for Running Press, The Awe-manac: A Daily Dose of Wonder.. She wrote and performed the one woman show I Can’t Always Handle Reality, But It’s Really the Only Place to Get a Good Cup of Coffee. Jill lives in the San Diego with two cats and a bougainvillea.