This weekend we spent time with a friend we hadn’t seen in a while. Her job recently came to an end, and knowing that she would soon no longer be seeing these people every day she spent her remaining time with them collecting the funny things they said. Here, for your reading enjoyment, are a few of those gems.

Two Guys Discussing A “Man Law”:

Guy One: “Dammit, [Guy Two], you never listen to Luther Vandross when other guys are around!”

Two Women Discussing The Projected Path Of A Potential Relationship:

Woman One (to Woman Two): “It starts off where you’re dressing up as Little Bo Peep, and the next thing you know he’s wearing your skin.”

English As A Second Language:

Guy One (who is from America): “Hey, [Guy Two], your desk looks like crap.”

Guy Two (who is from China): “What?”

Guy One: “Your desk. It looks like crap.”

Guy Two: “No. My desk look more like lobster.”

Guy One: “No. CRAP!”

Guy Two: “I know crap! Crap have eight legs and live in ocean!”