I know that there has been a lot of change around here lately, so I thought that I, Cranky Fibro Girl, should take some time to reflect on where I stand on the various issues that confront me on a daily basis.
1. I do not believe in peanut butter as a dessert.
2. I do not believe in morning times that begin with a number that is less than 7.
3. I do not believe in bumper stickers.
4. I do not believe in gas station meat.
5. I do believe that wearing a goatee transforms you into the “evil” version of yourself.
6. I do believe that there is almost nothing that McDonald’s french fries cannot heal to some degree.
7. I do believe that my husband pretty much walks on water.
8. I do believe that my couch has magical healing powers.
9. I do believe that crocs and minivans are the gateways to hell.
10. I do believe that there is no such thing as “too many books”. I also believe that there is no such thing as “enough books”.
ha! great list. we share many of the same beliefs!! congrats on the new form of your blog!
Cranky Fibro Girl says
Oh good-I’m glad it’s not just me 🙂
mono de queso says
I’m with you on most of those, but I don’t understand how you can say peanut butter doesn’t belong in dessert. Reese peanut butter cups, reese pieces, peanut butter cookies, nutter butters (you can’t give blood without them), peanut butter pie, peanut butter cheesecake (with chocolate sauce on top – mmm good), peanut butter and chocolate ice cream, those cookies with the kisses in the middle… The list goes on and on. Peanuts and peanut butter is a natural in dessert. I challenge you to name an ingredient that makes a better dessert besides chocolate (which is of course the perfect mate to peanut butter).
This is making me hungry just typing it. Time to go get some dessert myself.
“I do believe that there is almost nothing that McDonald’s french fries cannot heal to some degree.”
Good thing you included ‘almost” in that statement, because I sincerely doubt McDonald’s french fries can effect any healing of
1. “feddle gummint” evil
2. Mass MEdia Podpeople Hivemind addiction to lies
3. The tendency of common citizens to self-enstupiate
4. The reversal of auto-lobotomies performed by #3
And that’s just a very few maladies off the top of my head I doubt McDonald’s french fries can ameliorate. I believe the proper treatment of #s 1 and 2 is best administered by Dr. Tarr and Mr. Fether.
The proper treatment of #3 is a plastic bag over their heads. (Just give ’em plastic bags. They’ll do the rest. “Ooo! Shiny! I think I’ll put this over my head and tie it there.” Also works to cure addiction to cigarettes.)
McDonald’s french fries. Not exactly a panacea. Best administered with a Big Mac, though. That combo’s still the only thing I’ve ever liked from McDonald’s.
Cranky Fibro Girl says
@MDQ-I’m a little bit concerned in that you seem to have drunk the proverbial “peanut butter” koolaid. Perhaps an intervention is in order?
@David; “the tendency of common citizens to self-enstupiate” Idon’t think I’ve ever heard a better way to describe that!