Thirteen Funny Quotes From The Media1. “I think I know that one. Is it Jewish?”
-quiz show contestant when asked for the Pope’s religion.2. “If it weren’t for electricity, we’d all be watching television by candlelight.”
-George Gobel, television personality.
3. “An end is in sight to the severe weather shortage.”
-Ian Macaskill, BBC weather
4. “Tuesday Night at the Movies will be seen on Saturday this week instead of Monday.”
-unidentified television announcer.
5. “Red squirrels…you don’t see many of them since they became extinct.”
-Michael Aspel on British Radio 2
6. “The telephone company is urging people not to use the telephone unless it is absolutely necessary, in order to keep the lines open for emergency calls. We’ll be right back after this break to give away a pair of Phil Collins concert tickets to caller number 95.”
-unidentified radio disc jockey after the 1990 Los Angeles earthquake.
7. “Retraction: The ‘Greek Special’ is a huge, 18-inch pizza and not a huge, 18-inch penis, as described in an ad. Blondie’s Pizza would like to apologize for any confusion Friday’s ad may have caused.”
-correction in The Daily Californian
8. “We will now hear, ‘Deck Your Balls with Halls of Helly’…’Deck Your Bells with Balls of Holly’…er…a Christmas selection.”
-BBC radio announcer
9. “The crime bill passed by the senate would reinstate the federal death penalty for certain violent crimes: assassinating the President; hijacking an airliner; and murdering a government poultry inspector.”
-Knight Ridder News Service dispatch
10. “As a prize-a beautiful riding mower with optional ass scratcher!”
-announcer on television who meant to say “grass catcher”
11. “Then you add two forkfuls of cooking oil…”
-recipie given on television’s The French Chef
-contestant on the television quiz show, The Weakest Link, when asked which famous racehorse’s name was the word “murder” spelled backwards
13. “The farmers in Annapolis Valley are pleased to announce that this year there will be an abundance of apples. This is particularly good news because most of the farmers haven’t had a good crap in years.”
-unidentified Maryland television news broadcaster
From 1001 Dumbest Things Ever Said, ed. by Steven D. Price
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I am laughing so hard here…
My list is up
These are great. “Shergar”?? ROFL.
My TT is up too.
Hilarious! I like those first 2.
i swear i was going to do something so similar.
love the jewish pope one!
*wipes laughter tears away from eyes* Oh my gosh…this list was so hilarious. The ‘Greek Special’…*laughs again*
LOVE these!! #7 cracked me UP!
Mine’s up also.
John Masters says
These are great. I love inspirational quotes and such, but funny ones are awesome. I’m old enough to actually remember (#2) George Gobel, he was always on one variety show or another in the 60’s-70’s. He was a funny commedian and was actually a very very good jazz guitarist. I saw him play a clear jazz guitar on tv one time that had water in the lower ’bout’ of the guitar and a couple of goldfish. Ya just don’t get entertainment like that anymore.
Great T13! Mine is up at: http:/jamspeaks.blogspot.com/ if you care to see it.
Cindy Swanson says
Great list! I’m always straining my brain to try to come up with TT’s as good as this one!
Mine is up (not nearly as good as yours.) 🙂
Colleen Gleason says
BWAHAHAA! Great list! I particularly loved “the Christmas selection” and the “Tuesday night at the movies” ones.
Thanks for the laugh.
LOL! Great TT!
That is an awesome list! Thanks for the laugh!
My list is up too.
hahahaha I had a hard time getting past #7 ROFLMAO!!!
Too funny! LOL! 😀 Thanks for the laugh. 😀
Haha, I love when they bungle things on TV. 🙂
goofy girl says
Hahah those quotes are great!!
Wow. I can’t believe that people actually said this where they could be heard by others on a global level. Talk about “think before you speak”. Too, too funny!
Happy Thursday, Jenny!
Those are great!
I love #7 that is hilarious! I wonder how many woman showed up for that!
Miss Britt says
See THIS is why I should be famous. There is a serious shortage of intelligence in the media. I’m just the voice they’ve been missing. 🙂
As usual, hilarious!
Too funny!! I think Ian Macaskill, BBC weather, is famous for talking rubbish and as for the one about the 18-inch penis, sorry pizza – well, I actually laughed out loud!! Great list!! Thanks!
Hilarious! I laughed the hardest on #6 & 13.
Thanks for visiting my TT & commenting! I hope you are having a terrific Thursday! 🙂
Great and hilarious list!
Happy Thursday and thanks for stopping by my T13.
~ Stacy ~ says
LMAO! Oh my gosh! I wonder how many of these bloopers went completely unnoticed by the bloopee. [heh] Bloopee …I kinda like that term.
Fun list! Thanks for stopping by my T13 today!
love that list. lesson: think before we speak!
something blue says
I love this list. It makes me wonder what was going through the minds of the people who said them. Either it was something juicy or not much at all.
What an awesome list. Man I would have showed up for number 7 just for the curiosity factor. I LOVE YOUR BLOG! Happy TT!!!
Those are awesome. I loved the “ass scratcher” 🙂 hehe
Thanks for stopping by my TT! Hope you have a great weekend!
DK Raymer says
Thanks for the laughs; I so needed that after the week I’ve had! Thanks for dropping by my blog and reading Sam’s list, too. His newfound blog celebrity status is going to his head!
My wife would like to know if she can get the Greek Special delivered.
I don’t think my husband appreciated your list. He’s trying to sleep, and I couldn’t help but LOL.
They made the media loooked stupid!! Hahaha!
(Opps, I’m a media student…)
Mary (Mert) says
Thanks for the quotes, I love stuff like that. I think my hsband would love # 10, LOL!
Those are too dang funny! Classic, every one of them.
Too funny! Thanks for the good laugh! I love the last one especially. Cheers!
LMAO! Great list 🙂 I think that #7 has to be my favorite.
VERY FUNNY list 🙂
Jeepers, bummer for those people whose idiocies are immortalized.
Those are hilarious, especially the Greek Special!
Thanks for stopping by–you were exactly right about my age, 1974!
Have a good weekend
don’t you just love Julia Child? O wish they would show all of her old shows. She was so amazing and hilarious…
I laughed so hard I almost hacked up a hairball.
Thanks for visiting my blog.