Thirteen Things about Jenny Ryan
1. “I think we can agree. The past is over.”-George W. Bush
2. “A zebra cannot change its spots.” -Al Gore
3. “It isn’t pollution that’s harming the environment. It’s the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.” -Dan Quayle
4. “If we don’t succeed, we run the risk of failure.” -Bill Clinton
5. “There is a mandate to impose a voluntary return to traditional values.” -Ronald Reagan
6. “I regret to say that we of the FBI are powerless to act in cases of oral-genital intimacy, unless it has in some way obstructed interstate commerce.” -J. Edgar Hoover
7. “I’m running for president of the United States because I believe that-with strong leadership-America’s days will always lie ahead of us. Just as they lie ahead of us now.” -Bob Dole
8. “If I seem unduly clear to you, you must have misunderstood what I said.” -Alan Greenspan
9. “For seven and a half years I’ve worked alongside President Reagan. We’ve had triumphs. Made some mistakes. We’ve had some sex…uh…setbacks.” -George H.W. Bush
10 “Democracy used to be a good thing, but now it has gotten into the wrong hands.” -Jesse Helms
11. “Capital punishment is our society’s recognition of the sanctity of human life.” -Orrin G. Hatch
12+. “What we have here is an egregemous miscarriagement of taxitude.”
“I’m providing you with a copulation of answers to several questions raised…”
“The contagious people of Washington have stood firm against diversity during this long period of increment weather.”
“What right does Congress have to go around making laws just because they deem it necessary?”
“Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country.”
-Marion Barry, former mayor of Washington, D.C.
From 1001 Dumbest Things Ever Said, ed. by Steven D. Price
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