Prayers Of The Faithful

You know how when you’re little you learn certain prayers to say at certain times, like saying “Now I lay me down to sleep/I pray the Lord my soul to keep…” before you go to bed, or saying “God is great/God is good/Let us thank Him/For this food” before a meal? And then you get older and you learn different prayers to say at different times?

Well I have noticed that since I began living with cats, I have learned an entirely new set of prayers for the particular circumstances that arise due to cohabitation with felines.

Such as, A Prayer For The Sick

Dear God,

Please let that noise I hear not be the big cat horking stuff up all over the rug.

Thank you.

Or, A Prayer For The Dead

Dear God,

Please let that black thing in the middle of the living room carpet not be anything alive.
Or anything that was alive at one time, but is now dead.
Or anything that used to have legs, arms, a head and/or wings, but is now missing them.
Or any of said legs, arms, heads, or wings.

Thank you.

Or, A Prayer For Deliverance

Dear God,

Please let whatever it is that Tigger just captured on the porch
and then brought inside
not end up on my bed.

Thank you.

Together we all say, Amen.