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A Word Problem, For Your Tuesday Afternoon Enjoyment

March 30, 2010 By Jenny Ryan 2 Comments

Question: If you have two humans with four post-secondary degrees between them, and one cat with a hyper-active thyroid-a cat who only a year ago was told by the vet that she needed to lose weight and so was put on diet cat food, and then lost weight, and then lost WAY too much weight, and then needed to gain some weight back-how long should it take for at least one of the humans to realize that they should stop continuing to feed the poor animal with diet cat food?

Answer: W-A-Y sooner than it takes for this to be embarrassing enough to mock us for on this blog.

Filed Under: CFG Is Not A Mathemagician Tagged With: cats, living with cats, math problems

Cat Math

April 29, 2009 By Jenny Ryan 7 Comments

(number of cats in house)x(number of rooms in house)x(number of hours cats are denied access to the bedroom where you are blissfully slumbering)

divided by

(number of cat food pellets left in food bowl that they’re willing to eat)

multiplied by

(level of feline agitation)

equals

amount of anxiety barf to which you will awaken in the morning

Filed Under: CFG And The Laws Of Purr-modynamics, These Are The Days Of My Life Tagged With: living with cats

This Explains So Much

March 13, 2009 By Jenny Ryan Leave a Comment

How To Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting To Kill You.

Filed Under: CFG And The Laws Of Purr-modynamics Tagged With: living with cats

Great Imponderable Mysteries Of The Universe #6

November 19, 2008 By Jenny Ryan 2 Comments

Why do the cats think that if they race across my feet Every. Single. Time. I am in mid-stride, causing me to crash into whatever wall, chair, table, or sharp corner is nearest and then bellow in pain, that this behavior will make we want to give them treats?

Filed Under: CFG And The Laws Of Purr-modynamics Tagged With: living with cats

Undoing All The Benefits Of My Afternoon Nap

October 11, 2008 By Jenny Ryan 1 Comment

I was just awakened by my husband who informed me that, “Tigger just caught a lizard and brought it into the living room. I took it outside and I’m pretty sure it’s still alive, but it had definitely been chewed”.

Filed Under: CFG And The Laws Of Purr-modynamics, Wild Kingdom Tagged With: living with cats

Things We Are Forced To Say To The Cats With Alarming Frequency

September 12, 2008 By Jenny Ryan 4 Comments

1. Stop licking the cheese!

2. Kitties don’t go in dishwashers.

3. Don’t eat my hair!

4. Kitties don’t go in refrigerators.

5. There’s nothing for kitties here in the icebox/the toilet/my armpit.

Filed Under: CFG And The Laws Of Purr-modynamics, These Are The Days Of My Life Tagged With: living with cats

Do You Know What This Is?

February 3, 2008 By Jenny Ryan 4 Comments

cat door

This, my friends, is freedom.

No, not for the cats. FOR ME!

No longer do I feel that I spent 6 years in post-secondary education solely to become the doorman for the 3 beasts who share our home.

Free at last. Oh, yes. I am free at last.

Filed Under: CFG And The Laws Of Purr-modynamics, These Are The Days Of My Life Tagged With: cat doors, living with cats

I Wonder If There’s A Twelve Step Group For This

August 31, 2007 By Jenny Ryan 6 Comments

TP

Filed Under: CFG And The Laws Of Purr-modynamics, These Are The Days Of My Life Tagged With: living with cats

Welcome To My World

December 18, 2006 By Jenny Ryan 2 Comments

While making the Blog Fodder rounds last week I found this awesomely hysterical, and excruciatingly accurate post over at BritCats which I just had to mention here. It is entitled, “Wrapping Presents (With A Cat).”

1. Clear large space on table for wrapping present.
2. Go to wardrobe and collect bag in which present is contained, and close door.
3. Open door and remove cat from wardrobe.
4. Go to cupboard and retrieve rolls of wrapping paper.
5. Go back and remove cat from cupboard.
6. Go to drawer and collect transparent sticky tape, ribbons, scissors, labels, etc.
7. Lay out present and wrapping materials on table, to enable wrapping strategy to be formed.
8. Go back to drawer to get string, remove cat that has been in the drawer since last visit, and collect string.
9. Remove present from bag.
10. Remove cat from bag.

Continue Reading Here

Filed Under: CFG And The Laws Of Purr-modynamics, Holi-daze Tagged With: living with cats, wrapping christmas gifts

Tigger Strikes Again!

December 6, 2006 By Jenny Ryan 5 Comments

It is not always easy, this living with three cats. We spend A Lot of our time thinking of things that we want to do, and then trying to figure out how we can prevent the cats from then wrecking it.

For example, my husband brought in one of our plants this morning because we didn’t want it to freeze outside (although it was my personal opinion that the plant would have a better chance of survival outside than it would inside, where it would be at the mercy of Team Destructo.)

In order to be extra careful, he took the pot containing the plant and put it inside another, heavier pot, thinking that would make it much more difficult for the beasts to knock it over. Because, oh, The Knocking Things Over, how they do love it! I’ve almost decided to just go ahead and leave all of the trash cans in the Permanently Knocked-Over Position, just to make it easier for them to root around in all of our garbage. (Because buried deep inside the trash cans is where we keep all of our treasures-don’t you?) [Read more…] about Tigger Strikes Again!

Filed Under: CFG And The Laws Of Purr-modynamics Tagged With: living with cats

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