Cranky Fibro Girl

Harnessing the healing power of snark

A Word Problem, For Your Tuesday Afternoon Enjoyment

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Question: If you have two humans with four post-secondary degrees between them, and one cat with a hyper-active thyroid-a cat who only a year ago was told by the vet that she needed to lose weight and so was put on diet cat food, and then lost weight, and then lost WAY too much weight, and then needed to gain some weight back-how long should it take for at least one of the humans to realize that they should stop continuing to feed the poor animal with diet cat food?

Answer: W-A-Y sooner than it takes for this to be embarrassing enough to mock us for on this blog.

Cat Math

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(number of cats in house)x(number of rooms in house)x(number of hours cats are denied access to the bedroom where you are blissfully slumbering)

divided by

(number of cat food pellets left in food bowl that they’re willing to eat)

multiplied by

(level of feline agitation)

equals

amount of anxiety barf to which you will awaken in the morning

Welcome To My World

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While making the Blog Fodder rounds last week I found this awesomely hysterical, and excruciatingly accurate post over at BritCats which I just had to mention here. It is entitled, “Wrapping Presents (With A Cat).”

1. Clear large space on table for wrapping present.
2. Go to wardrobe and collect bag in which present is contained, and close door.
3. Open door and remove cat from wardrobe.
4. Go to cupboard and retrieve rolls of wrapping paper.
5. Go back and remove cat from cupboard.
6. Go to drawer and collect transparent sticky tape, ribbons, scissors, labels, etc.
7. Lay out present and wrapping materials on table, to enable wrapping strategy to be formed.
8. Go back to drawer to get string, remove cat that has been in the drawer since last visit, and collect string.
9. Remove present from bag.
10. Remove cat from bag.

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Tigger Strikes Again!

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It is not always easy, this living with three cats. We spend A Lot of our time thinking of things that we want to do, and then trying to figure out how we can prevent the cats from then wrecking it.

For example, my husband brought in one of our plants this morning because we didn’t want it to freeze outside (although it was my personal opinion that the plant would have a better chance of survival outside than it would inside, where it would be at the mercy of Team Destructo.)

In order to be extra careful, he took the pot containing the plant and put it inside another, heavier pot, thinking that would make it much more difficult for the beasts to knock it over. Because, oh, The Knocking Things Over, how they do love it! I’ve almost decided to just go ahead and leave all of the trash cans in the Permanently Knocked-Over Position, just to make it easier for them to root around in all of our garbage. (Because buried deep inside the trash cans is where we keep all of our treasures-don’t you?) [Read more…] about Tigger Strikes Again!