Cranky Fibro Girl

Harnessing the healing power of snark

The Way To My Heart

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Last Friday was our 11th anniversary, and in honor of that event my husband gave me an extra-special present, a gift that made my heart go all a-flutter.

What was this amazing gift? Flowers, jewelry, poetry? Nope.

In honor of our anniversary he rewired the house so that I can now plug my computer directly into our Internet connection, rather than having to rely on the sometimes-spotty connection I used to get through the wireless router. And I could not be happier. As a matter of fact, when describing how enthralled I am with my very fast, very reliable Internet connection to my husband, I believe my exact words were, “This is a dream come true!”

Apparently the road to my heart runs right smack dab through the middle of my Inner Nerd.

Oh The Nerdiness-It’s Just Not Getting Any Better

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Yesterday my Lightly Nerdy side and my Grammar Snob met and collided in the reference aisle of Borders, and then, much like the Wonder Twins, combined and activated their powers to make me into even more of a dork than I already was.

I was looking for some new Spanish reference books (nerd alert #1, because it was just for fun), and I found a new book written by the Real Academia Española, “the institution responsible for regulating the Spanish language” (nerd alert #2-a whole institution dedicated to grammar-HOW COOL!) all about the correct use of spelling and punctuation in the Spanish language (nerd alert #3-HOW COOL! Can I please buy this RIGHT NOW?!)

Sometimes I am just stunned that other people agree to associate with me at all.

Lightly Nerdy

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About two years ago my husband and I went to the electronics store to purchase a DVD burner and an iPod. He sent me to find the iPod, and went off in search of the DVD burner himself. I personally know nothing about electronics, but I memorized everything he told me to ask for, and I figured that I could lean heavily on the approach to male salespeople known as ” The Damsel In Distress.”

Unfortunately, I was in for a very rude awakening. Apparently guys who work in electronic stores are completely oblivious to damsels in distress.

(Important Side Note: The other group this doesn’t work on is Other Women. Say, for example, that you go to a dinner party at a friend’s house. And say that once you’re there you locate a guy and decide to focus your “Please rescue me!” energy on him. The guy may very well want to ride to your rescue, but he won’t have the chance to do anything about it. Because you will be dead. Because the woman to whom the guy belongs will have stabbed you in the face with her salad fork. But, I digress.)

So one day I was recounting this story to a friend of ours, with special emphasis on the fact that while I, personally, was passed over by at least three salespeople, the moment that my husband began walking towards me clerks flew over from all corners of the store, and were falling all over themselves to help him. (And yes, I am bitter.)

When I was done with my story our friend replied, “Well I know exactly why that happened. It’s because you don’t have enough nerd points.”

(Another Important Side Note: This is the same friend who, when told that I had become a Certified Life Coach responded by declaring that the entire profession of coaching is a made-up job.

My husband tried to mediate this little “misunderstanding” one day, and so he asked our friend, “Well, didn’t you ever wonder who you are, or why you’re here, or what you’re supposed to do with your life?”

And our friend replied, “Well, yeah. But then I turned ten, and I decided to become an engineer, and I was fine.”) [Read more…] about Lightly Nerdy