The bronze medal goes to the following review of the movie, “Star Wars: The Phantom Menace”

“Thinking robots, OK. Light sabers, sure. Space battles, yes. But a talking Jamaican lizard? That‘s where the believability stops.”

The silver medal goes to this exchange I witnessed at the graduation party for one of my tutoring students:

My student: (having just one-upped one of his guy friends in some competitive, male way): “Top that, bitch!”
My student: “Oh, hi, mom!” (to his mother, who was clutching at her chest and undergoing multiple heart attacks as she had unfortunately come downstairs at that exact moment to tell us that the food was ready.)

And the gold medal goes to this meeting that my friend had with her boss.

My friend: “He pulled me and this other guy into the conference room. Then he took out a bottle of water. He said, ‘I just blessed this, so now it’s holy water. I’m gonna throw this at you to see which one of you burns.”

My friend: “What?!”

Her boss: “I want to know which one of you is the most evil.”