Cranky Fibro Girl

Harnessing the healing power of snark

Hot Sticks

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As I believe I’ve mentioned here once or twice, we live with three cats. We love them for so many reasons, not the least of which is that they provide us with so many hours of entertainment with the wacky things they do, and then we get to say things like, “Well, it looks like the aliens are beaming messages into their brains again.” Because really, what other explanation is there for those times when they awaken from a dead sleep because, “My God, I must lick my own ass 75 times in a row RIGHT NOW!”

Additionally, having cats gives us the opportunity to refer to other creatures in the third person, as in, “The Bailey just pooed in the tub again,” or, “The Tigger just captured another lizard and is ‘playing’ with it in your office.” I have no idea why we do this. Perhaps it’s not actually the cats’ brains that the aliens are after. (Mwa-ha-ha! We’ve gotten the humans to refer to the felines in the third person. By next month they will be referring to them as, “Your Royal Highnesses, The Supreme Rulers Of The Universe”!) [Read more…] about Hot Sticks

You Might Have Too Much Free Time On Your Hands

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if you have spent an entire day trying to figure out the funniest way to describe your cat’s obsession with your new laptop.

(Like, is it funnier to say that you’re starting a self-help group entitled, “Help! My cat is in love with my computer!”, or to present it as a possible tabloid headline: “Impassioned feline inflamed by cyber-love”?)

Jenny’s Second Law of Feline Dynamics

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I found this “official” definition of entropy on a physics website the other day: “Entropy is the measure of the disorder or randomness of energy and matter in a system. Both energy and matter in the Universe are becoming less useful [and farther away from perfect order] as time goes on.”

Here’s what entropy looks like if you live with cats.

Entropy: A Layman’s Definition-“The perfect order you create in your home to welcome weekend guests will immediately begin to increase in randomness and disorder as you are forced to deal with one cat who poos in the tub, one cat who throws up on the kitchen table, and one cat who runs through the house brandishing what looks like a lizard’s tail, all before 11:30 in the morning.”