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Search Results for: snake

I’ll Take Door Number 2

July 27, 2006 By Jenny Ryan Leave a Comment

So the other day I faced quite an interesting quandary.

You know how some people think that we’re here on this earth to learn lessons? Well apparently one of my lessons is Learning How To Take Care Of Things Myself When My Husband Is Gone.

That’s fine when it is something like, hm, I wonder why we’ve lost power in these back 3 rooms but the electricity is still functioning in the rest of the house or, hm, the washing machine seems to be seeping out some kind of sticky brown goo. But I’m really not okay with this when the lessons involve insects, rodents, or reptiles. Because, as was clearly stated in our marriage agreement, my husband is The Person In Charge Of Creepy Crawly Critters. Not. Me. [Read more…] about I’ll Take Door Number 2

Filed Under: CFG And The Laws Of Purr-modynamics, These Are The Days Of My Life, Wild Kingdom Tagged With: great neighbors

Failure To Communicate

July 18, 2006 By Jenny Ryan Leave a Comment

Image courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

Yesterday evening my husband and I went to the park in order to try and get some pictures of the mama duck and her babies that we had seen there the day before.

After we successfully captured them on film my husband went off to explore a different part of the pond, and I stood at the railing just enjoying the beauty of the evening.

Unfortunately my reverie was rudely interrupted by the words that chill me to the bone and fill me with dread, even more than, “We’re out of Coke,” or, “If this were a math problem“: “Oh, look, A SNAKE!” (emphasis mine).

Of course I looked, and of course it was much, much worse than I thought. Because not only was there a snake somewhere in the general vicinity, there was a snake lying right next to my foot which foolishly was clad only in my Birkenstock sandals, which meant that my feet were mostly uncovered, which meant that the snake and all of the skin on my feet were sharing The Exact Same Air at The Exact Same Time, which meant that basically, the snake and I were touching!

So after levitating directly up off of the ground and into the air using only the power of utter horror, I found my husband and managed to convey to him the urgency of the situation.

“Snake. SNAKE. SNAKE!!”

Or so I thought.

Apparently, since there wasn’t a snake actually connected to me in any way, he thought I was only upset that someone had detected a snake somewhere within a 100-mile radius of where I was currently located. And being a guy (who thinks that things like snakes are cool), he decided that we had enough time before we fled the scene for him to go and look at the snake, along with the father and son (of course, more guys) who had originally detected its presence and were even now cheerfully following its progress through the grass.

So when he finally caught up to me in the parking lot he relayed the conversation that he and the other man had shared.

My husband: “He said, ‘Yeah, that lady didn’t even know it, but she was standing right next to that snake’.”
Me: “I KNOW! THAT WAS ME! I’M ‘THAT LADY’!”

Filed Under: Wild Kingdom Tagged With: wildlife

How Far The Mighty Have Fallen

July 3, 2006 By Jenny Ryan Leave a Comment

I personally do not believe in using bumper stickers to express my most deeply held beliefs and opinions for all the world to see. But that doesn’t have to do with bumper stickers themselves, so much as it does the fact that my personal opinions tend to change at the speed of a teenager with ADD playing “Burnout Revenge” after consuming 5 cans of Code Red Mountain Dew. And so that is why God made blogs. And people with no long-term memory.
[Read more…] about How Far The Mighty Have Fallen

Filed Under: All About Me, My Mind Works In Mysterious Ways Tagged With: bumper stickers

Nothing Can Ruin A Relaxing Spring Evening…

May 4, 2006 By Jenny Ryan 1 Comment

…so much as finding out that the Imaginary Snakes aren’t so imaginary after all.

imaginary snakes

Filed Under: A Moment In Time, Wild Kingdom

If I Dream It, They Will Come

April 24, 2006 By Jenny Ryan 2 Comments

Apparently my subconscious has been carrying on a conversation with the Universe lately that I was unaware of. And the gist of this conversation seems to be, “Hey! Let’s see some more animals around here!”

So far in the last week there have appeared at or near our house a snake, a possum (who was strolling through The Corn in the middle of the day), and a red fox.

I don’t know what that is all about. It could be a desire to get more in touch with nature. Or perhaps it’s a desire to get back in touch with my roots.

My grandparents live on a farm up in Northeastern Maine, a place where it is not at all unusual for a moose to walk up to the farmhouse and attempt to stick its entire head inside the kitchen window. (My grandmother just loves that!) A place where, as my husband and I were driving to the drugstore one afternoon, we saw a very large bear galloping down the road on which my grandparents live.

It seems that I’ve been spending lots of time meditating on moose in the kitchen and bears in the backyard lately, and the Universe is starting to send some similar experiences my way. Because yesterday, as I was walking next door to attend our neighbor’s birthday party, I discovered this ambling over to my house (at the time it was un-penned and unleashed):

A camel

And if it weren’t cool enough to almost have a camel in my backyard, I also got to hold a ferret:

A ferret

If you’d like to see more photos of our adventures with wild animals (and by “adventures” I mean, “going next door to the neighbor’s backyard”, and by “wild animals” I mean “animals that were completely tame, enclosed in a pen or a cage, and wearing harnesses and leashes”), you can click here

Hm…What to ask for next?

Filed Under: These Are The Days Of My Life, Wild Kingdom Tagged With: petting zoo

Not So Much Funny As Cool

April 21, 2006 By Jenny Ryan 1 Comment

Image courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

As I believe I’ve mentioned before, my husband and I live outside of Atlanta, in one of the many suburbs here in Northern Georgia. We do see a lot of wildlife here, but it is all pretty much what I consider to be Regular Wildlife. Things like dogs, cats, birds, squirrels (the bane of my cat, Tigger’s, existence), lizards, rats, and snakes. Anything else I classify as Exotic (what can I say? I’m a city girl.)

Once when he was mowing the lawn my husband found a turtle and called me outside to come and see it. I was fascinated with the turtle, and stared at it for a very long time, much like an infant who has just discovered that, “Wow! Not only do I have a foot, but I can put the entire thing in my mouth whenever I want to!” I insisted on taking pictures of it before we released it into the wild (AKA-the other side of our backyard fence), and I often wonder what happened to it and where it went after it left us.

However we do live next door to a great couple with a fabulous backyard garden. I refer to it as “The Corn”, because to me it is exactly like the magical cornfield in the movie, “Field of Dreams”: you never know just what might come walking out of there.

When we first moved into our house 7 years ago, before they built the neighborhood behind us, it was not uncommon to see the occasional deer amble by my window. And (and this is my favorite), there are rabbits that live back there. One of my favorite moments each year is the first time I see the bunnies again in spring. Unfortunately for my husband, this year’s moment occurred while we were talking on the phone. “BUNNIES!” I announced, causing him to temporarily lose all hearing so that the rest of our conversation had to be conducted via smoke signals.

I love the rabbits, especially when they come over to our backyard for a visit. So much so that all last summer I did nothing but watch as they devoured Every. Single. Hosta in our backyard. My attitude was not so much irritation as fascination: “Can they really fit an entire hosta leaf in their mouth all at once?” (Important Side Note: Yes, they can!)

So yesterday I was once again sitting in my office talking on the phone, when I saw something out the window that caused me to utter a very loud expletive. One that would have been appropriate if, say, masked intruders had suddenly entered my home and forced me, at gunpoint, to work on a math problem. Because all of a sudden, from out of The Corn there appeared…A Fox. A FOX! Right here in my suburban neighborhood!

It was so cool, and when I told my friend on the phone she thought it was cool too. But she lives in Colorado, and in my mind I imagine that (being part of The West) as a place where you can routinely find foxes ambling down the street, along with tumbleweed, coyotes, and men in chaps with big gold “Sheriff” stars pinned to their leather vests.

And the best part? She said that, to her knowledge, they are not carnivores. But they might eat rodents. And possibly even the occasional snake.

So there you have it. Our own little circle of life.

Filed Under: Wild Kingdom Tagged With: wildlife

It’s Taken 10 Years Of Marriage To Work Out A System This Effective

April 1, 2006 By Jenny Ryan 2 Comments

This weekend my husband and I decided that we were going to tackle some projects that we have been putting off for a very very long time. First on the list: to finally move the 2 piles of horse manure that have been sitting on our front lawn for the past year.

How did we come to have 2 piles of horse manure sitting on our front lawn for an entire year, you ask? That is an excellent question, especially since I am not entirely sure how this happened myself.

I think what happened is this: Last spring some new neighbors moved into the house across the street from us. Somehow in the course of making their acquaintance they happened to mention that, for reasons not relevant to this story, they would from time to time be receiving deliveries of horse manure fresh from the stables down the road, and would we like some too?

I, whose hospitality extends pretty far but does in fact stop short of poo, was ready to politely decline. But my husband, either caught up in the spirit of welcoming our new neighbors, or perhaps tapping into private knowledge of some future time when we would indeed need our own supply of fresh manure, said yes.

So we received our delivery, and there the piles sat for an entire year. Until today when, perhaps prompted by the same mysterious urge that made him request the poo in the first place, my husband announced that it was time to for us to actually use the manure to fertilize our yard.

He asked me if I would help and I said yes. But because 1) I was working with poo, and 2) I was working on the part of the lawn where the imaginary snakes live I was working very cautiously. This meant that the work proceeded only slightly faster than it would have were it being performed by a lawn crew composed entirely of tortoises who had only recently been dug out of the glacier where they had been frozen for the past 40,000 years.

It also meant that our work was frequently interrupted by conversations like this:

Me: EEEW! NASTY!

My husband: What?

Me: Something dead. For real this time. It’s furry.

Me: (backing away so as to give my husband a WIDE berth for dealing with the furry dead thing in the pine straw.)

My husband: (rustling around.)

My husband: You mean this tree branch? (Holding up something that is clearly The Opposite of ‘furry’.)

So, if we take the two piles of poo, and divide them by two people working with three rakes and one wheelbarrow, and subtract all the times I get distracted by the cats playing in the front window, and also subtract all the times I mistake totally innocuous yard debris for threatening wildlife, it will only take us approximately 50 katrillion more trips around the yard until all of the poo finds a home.

Like a well-oiled machine, no?

Filed Under: Partners In Fun, These Are The Days Of My Life, Wild Kingdom Tagged With: yardwork

Calgon, Calgon, Take Me Away

March 3, 2006 By Jenny Ryan Leave a Comment

It all started on Monday, when I had to take one of our cats in to get her teeth cleaned.

Now, before you roll your eyes and think, “Oh, you’re one of those kinds of pet owners,” please know that really, I am not. Trust me when I say that if you had to spend any amount of time near this cat and her breath, you would know that this was as much for our benefit as it was for hers. (And yours, if you ever came over to our house to see us.)

Also, the vet was all scary with her words like “bacteria”, and “infection”, and “damage”, and call me soft if you will, but I guess I am a sucker for keeping my pets alive.

So she went in early Monday morning and was ready to be picked up late that afternoon.

“We’re a little grumpy,” said the vet assistant in what had to be the most enormous understatement in all of time as she brought Pip out in her cage, and lo, the earth trembled from the force of her rage. [Read more…] about Calgon, Calgon, Take Me Away

Filed Under: CFG And The Laws Of Purr-modynamics, These Are The Days Of My Life

I Don’t Drink, But If I Started, This Would Be Why: Part 2

March 2, 2006 By Jenny Ryan Leave a Comment

The bug guy was here again today, to do our quarterly pest control as well as rodent maintenance.

As he was leaving he said, “Yeah, it’s a good thing we got the rat situation under control when we did because, you know what rats attract in the summer?”

He was laughing as he said this. My mind had totally stopped functioning, unable to imagine a new, potential creature-related horror.

Did I mention that he was laughing as he said, “I just love scaring you. In the summer, rats attract SNAKES.” [Read more…] about I Don’t Drink, But If I Started, This Would Be Why: Part 2

Filed Under: Playing Well With Others, The Naked Truth, Wild Kingdom Tagged With: phobias

I Don’t Drink, But If I Started, This Would Be Why

February 28, 2006 By Jenny Ryan Leave a Comment

1. On Sunday I walked into a restaurant to meet a friend for a girls’ night out, and I was greeted with the following words: “I’m so excited! I just spend the last 30 minutes holding a python!”

2. Learning today that it was not a python, but rather a boa constrictor. Apparently my friend has been visiting the snake on a regular basis over the past three days.

3. Hearing from my friend that, “It likes to curl around this button on my coat.”

4. And that, “It likes to curl around my neck and sleep under my hair.”

5. And that, “It LICKED MY EYE.”

6. And that, “It’s only $100, so I could buy it and then keep it with me in my coat when I come over to see you.”

Filed Under: Girl Power, Playing Well With Others, Wild Kingdom Tagged With: phobias

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