(Title inspired by Havi Brooks and her posts on The Dammit List.)

First, some guidelines:

1. No one has to read anything. There are no “shoulds” here. These are not assignments. This is just me saying, “Hey, I read this book and I thought you might like it.”

2. So therefore, it is impossible for anyone to get behind.

3. You can comment, or not. There are no “shoulds” there, either.

4. If you do chose to comment, you do not have to include passages from the books you recommend. (Although, of course, you can if you want to.) I just do that in order to give people a taste of what the book is like.

OK-on to the books

Of all the things I’ve lost since I’ve been diagnosed with fibromyalgia, one of the hardest ones I’ve had to deal with is the loss of my purpose; at least, the purpose I had all planned out in my head. And when  I can’t see past the pain, and the doctor’s appointments, and all the medication managment, that place of purposelessness-at least in my mind-is an impossibly scary place to be. That’s why I’m so, SO grateful whenever I come across books like these.

1. You Matter More Than You Think by Dr. Leslie Parrott

As she tells us on the second page, her message is very simple: “You are already making a difference-whether you know it or not-and the more you understand the difference you are making, the bigger that difference will be.”

As you might imagine I found the chapter on pain, titled “The Grinding Stone”, to be particularly helpful.

“A woman’s pain either makes her bitter or makes her better. I wince at even writing this hackneyed phrase, but it is true….Pain, in one way or another, eventually touches every woman’s life. And that pain either does us in or makes us the woman we aspire to be. Ultimately, the pain we carry in our hearts is the grinding stone that shapes us to love. It sharpens our capacity to be tender with another’s wounds and to empathize without judgment.”

She goes on to say that “Phillip Yancey thoughtfully calls pain ‘the gift that nobody wants’.” (Uh, YE-ah.)

“But make no mistake. It is a gift….Because of pain, you make a difference. Pain will give you permission to walk into places you’ve never dreamed you’d enter, and it can change your relationships like nothing else.”

And despite the fact that, Dear Universe: could I possibly have learned these lessons in a less brutal way?, I must grudgingly admit that she is right.

“So I ask you, friend, to consider the gift of your personal pain.” Um, ok, if I really HAVE to.

“I just want to encourage you to see that your pain is not without purpose.” I could hear this once a minute all day long, and it still wouldn’t be enough. But this is what I’ve desperately wanted to hear, so I’m willing to suspend my disbelief for a bit and take this on faith. At least for this moment.

“It can become the most powerful means you ever possess for making a difference. Consider whose life you can touch because of the pain you have endured. And consider how the pain of another person allowed them to touch your life in a way they would have never been able to do without it.

Pain, your personal grinding stone, has a purpose whenever it is used to make a difference.”

I really hope so.

2. She Did What She Could: Five Words Of Jesus That Will Change Your Life by Elisa Morgan

I stumbled across this little book by accident (or not!) the other day when I was just browsing around the bookstore. I skimmed through it and then put it back, but I kept thinking about it all the time over the course of a week or so, so I finally went back and bought it. And I’m so glad I did.

Once I read a couple of passages like this one, I was completely hooked.

“Most of us care, remember? We really do.. We care about our own lives, for sure, and also the lives of those around us. We care about poverty and injustice, about orphans and the sick. We care about the folks who live and work alongside us and about what happens in their families and their hearts and their heads.

We care. But too often we stop there because we think that in order for it to count, to make a difference that matters, we have to do something big. Or everything we could do. Or something no one else has done.” Hm, that sounds awfully familiar…

And so I’d like to pull out more amazing passages to share with you here, but the muscle burning is yelling, “Hey! Pain Meds! Right Now!” So I will just close by saying that her answer to this kind of “caring overload” is to examine each one of those five words: She, Did, What, She, Could-and give tons of real-life examples to show how I, in the middle of my fibromyalgia life, actually do have a purpose. That purpose being to ask myself in each moment, “What is here right now that I could do?”

I’ve been practicing this for maybe a month or so, and I have to confess that when I consciously ask myself that questions, there is always an answer. There is always something here that I could do to contribute somehow to what makes up my world. Important Side Note: I need to add a really important point here, which is that often the answer to that question is that what I could do right now is to take care of myself in that moment. That’s what I love about this question-my needs and others’ needs are equally important. This is not a one-sided giving on my part.

OK, off to rest now. As always, please feel free to suggest any books that you really like in the comments. And have a great Monday.

And this week’s Random Mystery Genre Is, “Fictional Female British Sleuths From the World War I and World War II Eras”.

1. Amelia Peabody created by Elizabeth Peters

Amelia Peabody is the sharp, pulls-no-punches protagonist created by Elizabeth Peters. Her story begins in the late 1880’s when she comes into a rather large inheritance and decides to go tour the world, despite being a single woman. She, unsurprisingly, receives a number of proposals of marriage, one of which she declined with the following explanation:

“I disapprove of matrimony as a matter of principle.” Mr. Fletcher’s pepper-and-salt eyebrows lifted. I added, “For myself, that is. I suppose it is well enough for some women; what else can the poor things do? But why should any independent, intelligent female choose to subject herself to the whims and tyrannies of a husband? I assure you, I have yet to meet a man as sensible as myself.”

Eventually she makes her way to Egypt, determined to see the pyramids. Upon arrival she makes the acquaintance of the Emerson brothers, Walter and Radcliffe, who are both archaeologists and Egyptologists. Happening upon them in the middle of a minor crisis, she decides to move into their excavation site and take charge of things.

I directed Walter to pick out a nice tomb for us.

He was staring at me in the most peculiar fashion. He did not speak, but he kept opening and closing his mouth. If he had not been such a handsome fellow, he would have reminded me of a frog.

“There is a nice tomb close by, I trust,” I repeated, resisting the desire to poke at him with my parasol. “Go along Walter, we musn’t waste time; I want the place all swept and tidy by the time our luggage arrives….”

“Nice tomb,” Walter repeated stupidly. “Yes. Yes, Miss Peabody, there are several other tombs nearby. I don’t know whether you would call them nice…”

“Walter, you are incoherent,” I said. “This is no time to lose your head. I understand your concern, but there is no need for it now. I am here.”

And so she was. And so she has continued to take charge of things through seventeen more books. You can find out more about the series here.

2. Maisie Dobbs

Maisie Dobbs is the creation of author Jacqueline Winspear, and we meet her in 1929 as she is opening her new detective agency.

Just a few pages in it becomes obvious that Maisie Dobbs is not your average, run-of-the-mill detective.

The tricky thing was going to be the nameplate. She still hadn’t solved the problem of the nameplate.

As Lady Rowan had asked, “So, my dear, what will you call yourself? I mean, we all know what you do, but what will be your trade name? You can hardly state the obvious. ‘Finds missing people, dead or alive, even when it’s themselves they are looking for’ really doesn’t cut the mustard. We have to think of something succinct, something that draws upon your unique talents.”

I was thinking of ‘Discreet Investigations,’ Lady Rowan. What do you think?”

“But that doesn’t tell anyone about how you use your mind my dear-what you actually do.”

“It’s not really my mind I’m using, it’s other people’s. I just ask the questions.”

As Maisie begins to work on her first case, sprinkled throughout the story are references to her mentor, Maurice, and the methods he taught her to use. For example,

“Truth walks toward us on the paths of our questions.” Maurice’s voice once again echoed in her mind. “As soon as you think you have the answer, you have closed the path and may miss vital new information. Wait awhile in the stillness, and do not rush to conclusions, no matter how uncomfortable the unknowing.”

And then later, once she has received a critical piece of information during her investigations:

Maurice had counseled her, in the early days of her apprenticeship, when she was the silent observer as he listened to a story, gently prodding with a question, a comment, a sigh, or a smile, “The story takes up space as a knot in a piece of wood. If the knot is removed, a hole remains. We must ask ourselves, how will the hole that we have opened be filled? The hole, Maisie, is our responsibility.”

Happily, the case is as intriguing as the detective. And even more happily, Maisie has appeared in five more books so far. You can learn more about the series here.

3. Phryne Fisher

And now for something light. Phryne Fisher is the protagonist featured in a mystery series written by Kerry Greenwood. Due to the death of various relatives in World War I her father has recently come into a large inheritance and joined the ranks of the British upper crust. His daughter, Phryne, is now quite  rich, in addition to being quite beautiful and quite smart, but she is also despretately bored.

“I wonder what I want to do?” Phryne asked of herself. “It has all been quite interesting up until now,  but I can’t dance and game my life away. I suppose I could try for the air race record in the new Avro-or join Miss May Cunliffe in the road trails of the new Lagonda-or learn Abyssininan-or take to gin-or breed horses-I don’t know, it all seems very flat.

…She was at a loose end. She did not want to stay in her father’s house and arrange flowers. She had tried social work, but she was sick of the stews and sluts and starvation of London, and the company of the Charitable Ladies was not good for her temper. She had often thought of travelling back to Australia, where she had been born in extreme poverty, and here was an excellent excuse for putting off decisions about her future for half a year.

“Well, I shall try being a perfect Lady Detective in Melbourne-that ought to be difficult enough-and perhaps something will suggest itself. If not, I can still catch the ski season. It may prove amusing after all.”

So she decides to take herself, her money, and her flapper lifestyle to Australia and set up shop as a private detective. You can find out more about the series here.

OK, your turn. Do you have any new detectives for me to meet?

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