Using My Powers For Good will be undergoing a sort of ” electronic facelift” over the next couple of days. If things look odd(-er than usual), please rest assured that we will soon be back. with a new look, but as always, with our usual keen reporting on all that is humorous in this blogger’s everyday life.
Highway To The Danger Zone
Generally speaking, I tend to leave everything technological and electronic up to my husband. And generally speaking, that tends to be in the best interests of everyone involved.
Although I do sometimes find it a little upsetting when people won’t even give me a chance. For example, when The Gamers are here on the weekend they sometimes ask me to go online and look up hints for them so they won’t have to miss a split second of combat with the demon-zombie-vampire-chainsaw-wielding-donkey-riding-skeleton-people, or whoever it is they’re fighting this week. But apparently I’m not able to complete this task quickly enough for them.
“Here, give me that,” they’ll say impatiently, irritated that their quest for the golden dragon fangs must temporarily be put on hold.
[Read more…] about Highway To The Danger Zone
Sunday Funnies
On Sunday my husband was playing a game on his hand held game system, which is not as fun for me because I can’t watch what is happening up on the big screen. But I did get to participate in a different way. While he applied himself to the game with the concentration and dedication of someone dismantling a nuclear bomb, I read him instructions to help him get past a particularly difficult part.
I found myself actually saying out loud things like:
“Next, you’ll come across a Geega pipe. Geegas are Kraid’s version of the Zebs/Gamets.”
Or, “Then, go through the hatch on the right. You’ll see a Zeela roaming around a platform and a tall, transparent tube of some sort with many brown Rippers in it (Zeelas are Kraid’s version of the Zoomer/Nova, except slower).” [Read more…] about Sunday Funnies
Things That Make You Say, “What?!”: Party Edition
Last weekend I was invited to go to a Southern Living party. I guess I had an image in my mind of it being all sophisticated and elegant, things which I don’t consider myself to be, so I was pretty much planning on staying in the background. So you can imagine my surprise, and my relief, when I overheard the following comments.
“Grannie, do you want a beer?”
And,
“Isn’t it funny how easily your fake nails catch on fire when you’re using a lighter?”
After that I knew I would fit in just fine.
It Was Somebody’s Job To Think This Stuff Up
Recently my husband has been excited to find some new friends with which he can play video games. While I am an excellent wife and companion in many ways, I do not share his enjoyment of gaming. So it has been good for him to connect with others who do.
Last weekend one of The Gamers arrived at our house and announced: “I just went to Blockbuster and found The Best Game Ever! You’re a samurai, and you wake up one day, and all of your body parts have been stolen. You have to go out and fight the bad guys who took them so you can like, get your arms back and stuff!” [Read more…] about It Was Somebody’s Job To Think This Stuff Up
Destiny
He was very quiet for the first 4 months that I knew him, rarely laughing or even speaking, no matter how many jokes I made at my own expense.
But then came the day that, in a desperate attempt to make our new kitten behave, I slammed a squirt bottle of water down on the table at which we were working. He looked at the bottle, looked at me, and then performed the most perfect straight man double take in the history of humor.
It was at that moment I knew that we were destined to become the very best of friends.
Today’s Way Cool Thing…
Calgon, Calgon, Take Me Away
It all started on Monday, when I had to take one of our cats in to get her teeth cleaned.
Now, before you roll your eyes and think, “Oh, you’re one of those kinds of pet owners,” please know that really, I am not. Trust me when I say that if you had to spend any amount of time near this cat and her breath, you would know that this was as much for our benefit as it was for hers. (And yours, if you ever came over to our house to see us.)
Also, the vet was all scary with her words like “bacteria”, and “infection”, and “damage”, and call me soft if you will, but I guess I am a sucker for keeping my pets alive.
So she went in early Monday morning and was ready to be picked up late that afternoon.
“We’re a little grumpy,” said the vet assistant in what had to be the most enormous understatement in all of time as she brought Pip out in her cage, and lo, the earth trembled from the force of her rage. [Read more…] about Calgon, Calgon, Take Me Away
I Don’t Drink, But If I Started, This Would Be Why: Part 2
The bug guy was here again today, to do our quarterly pest control as well as rodent maintenance.
As he was leaving he said, “Yeah, it’s a good thing we got the rat situation under control when we did because, you know what rats attract in the summer?”
He was laughing as he said this. My mind had totally stopped functioning, unable to imagine a new, potential creature-related horror.
Did I mention that he was laughing as he said, “I just love scaring you. In the summer, rats attract SNAKES.” [Read more…] about I Don’t Drink, But If I Started, This Would Be Why: Part 2
I Don’t Drink, But If I Started, This Would Be Why
1. On Sunday I walked into a restaurant to meet a friend for a girls’ night out, and I was greeted with the following words: “I’m so excited! I just spend the last 30 minutes holding a python!”
2. Learning today that it was not a python, but rather a boa constrictor. Apparently my friend has been visiting the snake on a regular basis over the past three days.
3. Hearing from my friend that, “It likes to curl around this button on my coat.”
4. And that, “It likes to curl around my neck and sleep under my hair.”
5. And that, “It LICKED MY EYE.”
6. And that, “It’s only $100, so I could buy it and then keep it with me in my coat when I come over to see you.”
