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Archives for August 2016

You Can Keep Your Outrageous Salaries And Your High-Powered Careers; It’s Moments Like These That Prove That I Have The Best Job In The Whole Entire World

August 17, 2016 By Jenny Ryan 1 Comment

So the other day I was home supervising someone who was giving us a quote on work that needs to be done around the house. He was really nice, and we were getting on like a house on fire when talk turned to a recent improvement he’d made to his lifestyle.

“I just started wearing these new shoe inserts,” he said. “I’ve only had them on for a couple of days,but I can already tell a huge difference.”

“Wow-that’s great!” I told him.

“I know,” he replied. “I hurt my foot a while ago but I refuse to get surgery, because I’ve talked to too many people who did have surgery and then months later are still having problems.”

“I know what you mean,” I said. “I have a lot of lower back problems but I’m never having back surgery, for the same reasons.”

“Well let me email you the information about these inserts,” he said. “They’re pricey, but they’re working really well.” Then, our rapport well-established, he continued.

“I know a woman,” he began, “whose second toe has started growing across her big toe. So she had surgery to correct it, but it’s eight months later and she still has problems walking.”

“Ooh,” I said, grimacing. “That doesn’t sound good.”

“No,” he agreed. “But a woman at her church had the same problem, so she told my friend that she just went to the doctor and had them cut that toe right off so she could be done with it, and now she’s fine. So now my friend has scheduled surgery to have her toe amputated too.”

“Huh,” I said, as one does when confronted with an unexpected amputation anecdote.

“Yeah,” he continued, “because you know you can lose up to three toes and be OK. As long as you have your big toe and your pinky toe, you’re fine.”

As a matter of fact, I did not know. But thanks to my new friend, whom we are TOTALLY going to hire, I know now. And I did not have to put on pantyhose, drive in rush hour traffic, or sit through one single Power Point presentation to find that out.

Eat your heart out, guys.

Filed Under: CFG Knows Some Interesting People

Good Words: Check Out This Post For Some Insight On What It’s Like To Live With An Invisible Illness

August 10, 2016 By Jenny Ryan 1 Comment

At the beginning of the year I became part of a network of Chronic Illness Bloggers. In addition to opportunities to test and review products, we support each other in living with our conditions, and share with each other tips, articles, resources, and posts.

One such post is the following: “4 Women Share What It’s Like To Live With An Invisible Disease.”

“You have no idea how sick someone is on the inside when you can only see the outside. We talked to four women who are struggling with chronic (read: lifelong) illnesses that are all but invisible to the naked eye. Here, they share what it’s like to suffer from the diseases and the doubt.”

A great description of what it’s like to come up against the attitude of, “But you don’t look sick”.

 

Filed Under: CFG Goes Online

Dear My Husband: This Is Why My Phone Phobia Is Actually A GOOD Thing

August 3, 2016 By Jenny Ryan 1 Comment

Frequently when I’m out walking I pass the truck for a lawn service that’s used by a number of our neighbors. It brands its work as “realistic” which always strikes me as kind of odd, because of all the words I could think of to describe professional yard care, “realistic” is not one of them.

My first reaction is to wonder just what kind of crazy-ass unrealistic services they were asked to provide that caused them to have to specify that this is the only kind of work they offer. Maybe something like, “No, ma’am, I’m sorry, but we cannot turn your yard into a fully functioning replica of The Magic Kingdom as expressed solely through the Art Of Bonsai” ?

Then I feel kind of sad, because it makes me imagine a young, eager lawn guy or gal being told to lay down their lofty dreams of yard care glory (Bonsai? Magic Kingdom? Why not?!), and instead just settle for what is  “realistic”.

But mostly, it makes me want to call them up and ask really obnoxious questions. Such as,

“How much do you charge for “Tragically Disenchanted” lawn service?”

Or, “Can you recommend anyone who provides ‘Utterly Unfeasible’ care? What about ‘Fleetingly Quixotic’?”

Or, “Would you give me any kind of discount if I combined ‘Existentially Angsty’ with ‘Vaguely Fraught’?”

But luckily for everyone involved, my deep and abiding phobia of Talking To People On The Phone means they are safe from my trying to poke them with giant snark sticks.

It’s always nice when I can use my illness to help others.

Filed Under: CFG's General Musings

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