1. My husband, calling me from work.
My husband: “Our girl scout cookies are here.”
My husband: “I was able to get the extra Thin Mints you requested.”
My husband: “The house owes me $35.”
My husband: “I just spent thirty-five dollars on cookies!”
Me: “And they are worth every penny.”
My husband: “WE HAVE OUR OWN BOX OF COOKIES!”
Loud thunk as my husband’s head hits his desk in despair.
2. My husband, calling me from the airport on one of his many recent business trips.
My husband (talking very slowly and sounding kind of funny): “So, we had a little excitement here.”
Me (thinking that maybe he missed his flight): “Oh?”
My husband: “I refused to go through the X-ray machine, so I had to have them pat me down and run the wand over me.”
Me (wondering where this is going): “OK?”
My husband: “They also did that thing where they swab your hands and clothes to look for…whatever it is they look for. ”
Me: “Uh huh?”
My husband: “Well, they found something on the swab and it set off all the alarms. So then they unpacked all my stuff, x-rayed it, took me over to the side,…(long, involved explanation that kept going on as I grew more and more frantic.)
Me (cutting to the chase): “OMG, ARE YOU IN JAIL?!”
My husband (in that slightly condescending tone that people take when speaking to someone they believe is needlessly overreacting and unnecessarily hysterical): “Um, NO-oh. I would have led with that.”
I think I would have asked the same question. You knew he wasn’t dead because you were talking to him. Next question depending on the situation- are you in jail or are you in the hospital. 🙂 Glad you have cookies and he is not in jail.
I am following you on FB so I can still keep up with you even though I am shutting down my blogs.
Cheerful Monk says
I laughed out loud. Thanks!