My husband had some time between work and poker last night, so he came home to change clothes and say hi to me.
We were sitting on the couch when he caught sight of the Bible I’d left on the side table, so he picked it up and started to flip through it. After a few seconds he stopped on one page and then began to read closely.
I waited for a minute or so, and then cleared my throat to get his attention. When he turned to look at me I said, “Am I really that boring?”
“No”, he said, “I just can’t believe what I’m reading here.” And then he proceeded to give me some examples.
-“If a man seduces a virgin who is not engaged to be married and sleeps with her, he must pay the marriage price and marry her. If her father absolutely refuses to give her away, the man must still pay the marriage price for virgins.”
-“Do not let a sorceress live.”
-Anyone who has sex with an animal gets the death penalty.”
-“Don’t eat mutilated flesh you find in the fields; throw it to the dogs.”
(Exodus 22:16-18, 31 from “The Message”, by Eugene Peterson)
“I mean, who were these people, and what were they doing that they had to be told these kinds of things?!”, he asked, stupefied.
I must say, he did make a very excellent point.
“Hm”, I replied, thinking back over my elementary and middle school years spent at a Christian school, but coming up blank. “I never thought about it that way.”
“Oh, he continued, incredulously,” And then down here at the bottom of the page it says, ‘And, hey-make sure you throw me a party three times a year’.” (Exodus 23:14, a bit, um, loosely translated)
And then after that, neither one of us knew quite what to say. Thank goodness for poker.
Although I’m sure that was covered, in great detail, on the next page.
We decided not to look though, just in case.