*while audience is clapping, the camera pans over until we see Alex Trebek.”
Alex: “Hello, and welcome. I’m Alex Trebek. And today we have with us Jenny. Jenny, why don’t you tell us a little bit about yourself?”
Jenny:”Sure, Alex. I’m Jenny, I’m a humor writer, and I live a little bit north of Atlanta with my husband and our three cats.”
Alex: “Wow-that sounds like a handful.”
Jenny: “You have no idea.”
Alex: “All right, then let’s move right into our categories for today. We have Working On Your Website,Your Online Forum, The Front Burner Project, Friends, Email, and To Do List/Errands. So Jenny, why don’t you start us of by choosing a category.”
Jenny: “Hm, I’ll take Email for $100, Alex.”
Alex: “All right. The answer is, ‘This will help you with your ebook.”
Jenny: “Oh, I know-What is, reply to the email I got from the woman who really wants to help me with this?”
Alex: “That’s right. And since you answered correctly, you get to choose again.”
Jenny: “I’ll take My Website for $200.”
Alex: “The answer here is, ‘This is today’s post.”
Jenny: *furiously pressing her buzzer*
Alex: “Jenny, this question goes to you.”
Jenny: ” What is, turn my game show notes from yesterday into a post.”
Alex: “Right again. OK. For the choice of your final Thing for this round, which category do you choose?”
Jenny: “Alex, I’ll take To Do List for $200.”
Alex: “The answer: Will make you smile when you see it.”
Jenny: “Oh, that’s an easy one. What is, add Jake’s baptism photos to my iTouch.”
Alex: “Well done. All right, it’s time for us to take a break. When we return, will Jenny be able to continue her winning streak?”
**once more we are back in the studio. Unfortunately Alex does not have a gorgeous assistant for the camera to focus on.**
Alex: “Well we’re back from our break with Jenny, who has broken out early and taken a commanding lead. Let’s see if she can keep it up in our Double Jeopardy round. Jenny, choose your category.”
Jenny: “Alex, I’ll take Online Forum for $600.”
**audience gasps at such a bold choice**
Alex: “OK. The answer is, this will make your Inner Student and Inner Organizer so happy.”
**all three contestants push their buttons furiously, but Jenny’s is once again the first to light up.**
**other 2 contestants begin to look at her suspiciously**
Jenny: “What is, listen to one more teleclass and then be completely caught up.”
Alex: “Yes! Well, once again it is up to you to choose our next category.”
Jenny: “I’ll take To Do list for $400.”
Alex: “And the answer is, the 2 errands you can get done at the same time.”
Jenny: **buzzes in at lightening speed**
Other Contestant #1: “Hey. How come she is the only one who ever gets to answer anything? I need a new buzzer-this one’s broken.”
Other Contestant #2: “I think this whole thing is rigged.”
Jenny: **could not LOOK more innocent**
Jenny: “What is, go to the chiropractor and then buy some spaghetti sauce.”
Alex: “Right again. It looks like we have time for one more before we need to take our next break. So Jenny, give us a category.”
Jenny: “Alex, I’d like to take To Do list for $1000.”
**audience cannot contain its reactions of shock and awe**
Alex: “OK. For $1000. The answer is, you are desperately in need of this particular bit of pampering.”
Jenny: What is, you really need to just go ahead and schedule a pedicure, already.”
Alex: “Right again! Well, it looks like it’s time for you to go off and complete your 3 Things. And when we get back, we’ll have the Final Jeopardy round, so stay tuned.”
**Other contestants: in serious discussions with the judges**
****
**camera pans over to Jenny waving happily. The Other 2 Contestants are nowhere to be seen-apparently they have been disqualified**
Alex: “And we’re back once again with Jenny, who is just taking the board by storm. So, Jenny, are you ready for Final Jeopardy?”
Jenny: “Yes I am, Alex. I’ve completed all my tasks from the 1st and 2nd rounds, and I’m ready for my final question.”
Alex: “All right. The Final Jeopardy answer is, This is what you will do now to reward yourself and to “refill your well.”
Jenny: “Ah-I really like this question. What is, get a cold drink, run a hot bath, and read “Death By Bikini”.
Alex: “Yes! Congratulations on winning all three rounds of today’s episode of Jeopardy! Oh-and for a Super-Extra-Bonus Question: the answer is, These things can suck ENORMOUS DONKEY BALLS!”
Jenny: “Oh, that’s easy. What is a mother-pumpkin fibro flare-up, cramps, and a migraine, all at the same damn time. Seriously, universe-could you please BACK OFF A BIT!! Geez!”
I needed this laugh. Today I woke up with extra extra pain and so tiered.
Me too. I’m so glad I could help you with some laughter.
Oh my gosh! Jenny, you are so danged brilliant! This is so funny and so very clever!!!! Thank you for sharing your gifts with us.
Thanks, Zura 🙂
It was nice to be able to turn a To Do list into something a little more fun.
Actually, I hadn’t read this post yet – I just stumbled across your blog in mid-August, and apparently missed this in the back-reading (I’d been thinking of the Come-To-Jesus post). But this is good, too.