An End, And A Beginning

So as most of you know I’ve been writing this blog for the past 4 1/2 years, and I’ve had a blast doing it.

I had a ton of ideas for where this site was going, and all kinds of plans for how I wanted things to be. But then I got sick-REALLY SICK-at the end of 2007, and suddenly my life was blasted apart into a billion pieces.

I feel like I’ve spent these past two years just kind of flailing around, bashing into walls and people and the remnants of my old dreams, just trying to regain some sort of stability. And occasionally I could. But most of the time I really had no idea what I was doing.

And I know that all of this showed up in my blog because suddenly-literally, overnight-I was no longer the person who started that blog. I wasn’t just a cute entertainer telling funny stories and making people laugh. Now I was a person with a chronic illness, living with chronic pain, unable to do anything but just be sick and in pain. All the things I was able to do before-work, run our household, go out with friends, travel any farther than the couch in our living room, write, much less write humorously-they were suddenly gone. And so I had to figure out how to be that person, when I DID NOT WANT to be that person.

So I know that starting then, this blog no longer delivered what it had in the past. And I’m sorry for that. It was SO frustrating for me, as I’m sure it was for you guys. You came here expecting “Entertaining Stories From Everyday Life”, but I know that it eventually morphed into, “Hey, you know what? Chronic illness isn’t funny. &$@! ” So I really appreciate all of you who stuck around anyway. And I also appreciate everyone who came here and then decided that this just wasn’t their thing.

And I’m also sorry for the fact that, because I’d never gone through this before, I wasn’t able to let you all know that there was a change coming. I know that I started this blog with the inner rules that I would not be mean or controversial or argumentative, and that I wouldn’t use what some people might call, “inappropriate language.” And then overnight they were all swept away, with no warning that these things were coming. And so I want to apologize for that as well.

So given all of these things, I’ve decided to make a change here. I’m not going to be blogging as “Using My Powers For Good” anymore, because I am not that person anymore, the person who started this blog all those years ago. I need to do something different, something where I feel comfortable bringing all of my different parts, and something that lets people know ahead of time what they will be getting into if they visit my site.

So I am very excited to announce that, as of tomorrow, I will be blogging as Cranky Fibro Girl, although my web address will still be jennyryan.com. You don’t have to change anything on your end. If you type jennyryan.com into a web browser you will still end up here. If you’ve bookmarked this site somehow or added it to a blogroll, clicking on that link will still bring you here. “Here” will just be a little different starting tomorrow.

As you might imagine, Cranky Fibro Girl has an edge (or five) to her personality, and she lets you know that right up front. So there will be crankiness and irritability. There will be mocking and sarcasm. There will be funny. There will be sad. There will be swearing and frustration and anger. There will be the entire experience of someone living with chronic pain and illness. There will be all of the things that make up this “me” that I am right now.

So if you want to stick around, yay! And if you decide that this is not for you, that’s cool-thank you so much for coming with me this far. And thank you all for all the ways you’ve been part of this community. Funny stories aren’t that funny without people to enjoy them, and you’ve given me such a gift by enjoying mine.

Jenny