So yesterday I had to run to the drugstore really quickly, to pick up a few office supplies.
Behind me in line stood a woman a few years older than me, and her son, who was somewhere around 11 or 12 years old.
“What’s that?” I heard him ask as I handed over my cash to the clerk, and looked up to see him pointing at a display of various KY products that had made their way into the “impulse buy” part of the check-out line.
Time seemed to stop in that moment as I saw his mother realize what he was pointing to, attempt to come up with a response that would satisfy his curiosity without having to have “The Talk” right there in the middle of Walgreens, and then stop, defeated.
She couldn’t do it.
And he kept asking questions.
And I felt for that woman, and what a difficult job she had as a parent, a job that can apparently just rise up and bite you on the ass when you’re innocently attempting to do nothing more than buy a gift card at the drug store.
AND I also thought, “YES! Having to explain the concept of “personal lubricants” to my offspring-let’s add that to the list of things I will never have to figure out how to do.”
SCORE!
All those years of getting in trouble in school and having to write essays with themes of “Why I Should Not Chew Gum in Class,” or “Why I Should Not Pee in the Playground” have prepared me for these KY / Condom / Douche moments. I am the ultimate bullshitter and can instantaneously come up a response to any such question (and I can boldly split the heck out of any infinitive, as well).
But, yes, cats sure are a lot easier to deal with.
I found all of those all of those conversations hilarious. My kids would ask all sorts of interesting things when they were young. My youngest couldn’t pronounce “t-r’s” when he was a toddler….so one day in a cute little toy store he heard sirens and yelled “FIRE FUCK FIRE FUCK!!!!!!!” he was sooooooo excited. The other mothers were horrified. I just started laughing! 🙂
Lots more fun stories…they just get better and better as the boys got older 😉
@SPG-that is a great talent to have. The ability to let flow with the BS really is helpful in life, I’ve found.
@Lynne-I bet you were always the coolest mom of all of your kids’ friends’ moms.
ohmy, this was one of those posts where I was real glad I wasn’t drinking coffee WHILE I read..i’d be taking the ole keyboard in for repairs if i had been (spit and computer keys dont’ mix)
ugh! those conversations IN the store..not sure how i avoided those (maybe i rarely took my girls into stores..i was agoraphobic for awhile back then..could’ve been my saving grace)…i only got the fun stories..the kind Lynne mentioned…when my son came along – like him hunting thru the toys in the Sunday School (verrrry fundamentalisty) toybox saying: “Where’s the damn train?” or, actually – because he was three and kinda mumbled: “waggad DAMN twain?” Luckily he found it – so at least he didnt say “well, f@*& it, who wants the s.o.b.-ing train anyway?”