Sunday
I hope no one’s counting on my random eye twitching to lead to some kind of rescue mission.If so this message system really needs some work
Monday
While extremely grateful for 12 pain-free days, am noticing alarming inverse relationship between increased health and decreased wittiness.
Tuesday
To My Left Hip: I’ve obviously angered you, and I’m very sorry. But the Hunchback-With-A-Severe-Limp thing REALLY isn’t working for me.
Wednesday
Does it reflect poorly on me that the cats’ breath could strip the pain off of our walls?
Thursday
If the economy tanks today, it’s probably because I’m experiencing my first dr.-appt.-free week since 2009 began.
Friday
To our financial adviser who will not STOP CALLING US: DUDE! We’re just not that into you. Stop embarrassing yourself already
Thanks, Jenny! I’m out here; I’m reading you regularly and laughing; and especially loved MONDAY and FRIDAY.