11:06am Is it wrong that my new favorite phrase is now “testicle festival”?
8:02pm Forgot my BIL and SIL’s 1st anniversary. I wonder how long I can continue to play the “fibro” card for things like this.
2:01pm Just got an email discussing my 15th COLLEGE reunion. How the hell did that happen?!?!
5:27pm Apparently, the Universe does not want me to go a day without the gift of gross. Thanks, Universe.
9:00am I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I’ve decided that it’s time for me to break up with “Bones”.
10:01am Dear Nicholas Cage: Please don’t accept any more movie roles requiring you to assume a Southern accent. Sincerely, My Nervous System.
3:20pm Am attempting to link Twitter and my phone. Apologies in advance if this causes the earth to explode.
9:17am There is no Coke in my house. How did this happen?!
9:49am Today is one of those days where it really sucks to be the only human in the house
10:56am They can’t drive, cook, clean their box, do taxes for me: why do we have cats, again?
11:25am Hypothetically speaking, has anyone else needed a Xanax before they could sit down and work on their taxes? I’m just asking for a friend 😛
11:51am Am attempting to mind-map some writing ideas, but am distracted by the fact that my cat seems to be getting a buzz from my Sharpies.