I really appreciate all the comments you guys have been leaving me the last couple of days, as well as the fact that my ranting has not driven you away. 🙂
If you’d like an additional perspective on this situation, the awesome Lynne Morrell has written a companion piece to this series which lists things you can do to help someone living with a long-term illness.
And so, without any further ado, I give you Part Three of What Not To Say:
5. Appointing yourselves as our personal Director of Information.
Attention healthy people: On behalf of chronically ill people everywhere, I would like to take this opportunity to tell you to STOP RESEARCHING OUR ILLNESS FOR US!
We have all the information we need, thank you very much.
We know exactly how sick we are. We know what treatment options are available to us. We know all the bad things that can happen as a result of our particular illness, because we are living through them every day. We are working closely with our doctors, and are following the treatment plan that works best for us.
It may not look like it from the outside, because we aren’t doing things exactly the way you would do them, but I promise: we are already doing everything that can be done.
Oh, and while we’re on the subject? Please also stop telling us about all the additional awful illnesses you’ve found that match the symptoms we are having. We already have enough to deal with; we do not have the energy or the resources to worry about something new that, more than likely, WE DO NOT HAVE.
This kind of research may be a nice, intellectual exercise for you, but it just causes massive stress for us. It is also frustrating to be treated as though we have no idea what we’re doing, when we are the ones living with this illness-not you-and all we are ever doing is working to get better.
So please, just keep this information to yourself, because we don’t want it. Otherwise, don’t be surprised when we strangle you with your own computer cables. Because you deserved it.
Lynne Morrell says
Thanks for mentioning my companion post…there will be more. This is a HUGE topic and source of stress for folks going through health issues.
If people really want to do something to help you (“you” meaning anyone who has a health issue)…instead of researching all the crap about what you have…maybe they can come over and do laundry, or clean up the kitty litter boxes…or maybe they can research….HOW TO TALK TO PEOPLE WHO HAVE BEEN SICK FOR WAY TO FLIPPIN” LONG!!!! See my post:)
Great rants Jenny!
You brave babe you:)
Square Peg says
Lynne, I think rather than, “clean up the kitty litter boxes,” you meant “clean out the bath tub.” 😉
Ahh, exactly what I wanted to write myself. Only today did I hear a husbandly acquaintance tell him that it must be the H1N1 virus that the acquaintance and self-appointed disease expert thinks is rampant in our area. Yes, I’m sure that’s what has affected me for TEN YEARS!!