Septic Tank Man: You know, you guys really need to think about switching toilet paper. You really need to be using something like [name of a brand]. You know-that stuff that’s just like sandpaper.
Me: Um, yeah, we’ll get right on that.
****
Veronica Mars, who is 19, apologizing to her father, the sheriff, for providing her friends with fake ID’s.
Veronica: I promise that from now on, I will only use the Mars powers for good and not for evil.
Keith (looking wistfully around their apartment): There’s never a stenographer around when you need one.
****
My dermatologist, after successfully removing a skin thing from directly under my right boobie.
The doctor: I’m not even gonna send this into the lab to be biopsied since it wasn’t in a bad place.
Me (to myself): As someone who is a DD, I would seriously have to disagree with you on that one.
oh, I loooove veronica!
and YOWCH! i feel for you sista.
Oh we call that stuff john wayne toilet paper because its rough and tough and doesnt take any shit! And dont watch veronica mars but feel your pain as a fellow DDer sister!
An alternative to sandpaper would be regular newsprint. You could also try leaves. Consider that words from newsprint may leave a mark, leaves may leave bugs on the scene and sandpaper may take skin shavings as ransome on its way through. Isn’t is great to know we have choices?