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Recent Events That Have Made Me Feel Like A Big Giant Goober

November 23, 2006 By Jenny Ryan 6 Comments

1. The fact that my husband had to FORBID ME TO CLEAN while recovering from pneumonia. (What? I thought housework was part of the treatment for lung disorders.)

2. The fact that when I told this to one of my friends she replied, “You are a wanker and you need to be beaten!” (Because there’s nothing like the loving support of your friends.)

3. The fact that I don’t actually know what a “wanker” is. (I had a very sheltered childhood and adolescence. Just ask my husband.)

4. The fact that I recently found myself in the grocery store having hot, sweaty, lustful thoughts about all of the Swiffer products that it’s now possible to buy. (I really have no explanation for this at all. Although now #1 might not seem quite so weird.)

5. The fact that it’s taken me an entire year to understand what my friend means when she uses the phrase “it’s like throwing a hot dog down a hallway” when describing intimate physical relationships and the size of a man’s, uh, “cash and prizes”. (I told you I was sheltered.)

Filed Under: All About Me, The Naked Truth Tagged With: Reasons Why I Am A Dork

Comments

  1. Sparky says

    November 25, 2006 at 12:55 am

    wow, you do need to get out more.

    I picture wanker as a dirty nerd/dork

  2. Mary (Mert) says

    November 25, 2006 at 1:08 am

    well, from dictionary.com, here are the definitions for wanker:

    1. a contemptible person; jerk.
    2. a male masturbator.

    Take your pick… either way, not so good, LOL! This post really made me giggle. Swiffer…!

  3. Administrator says

    November 26, 2006 at 2:59 pm

    wow, you do need to get out more.

    Tell me about it!:D

  4. Administrator says

    November 26, 2006 at 3:00 pm

    Thanks, Mary! 🙂

  5. tiggerprr says

    November 27, 2006 at 12:19 pm

    Hehe this post made me giggle. My husband and I were marveling at all of the cleaning products, and together noted that with our love for having all the latest and greatest cleaning supplies, you’d think that our house would be WAY cleaner than it is. LOL (Note, it’s not a pit or anything…it just should be spotless and without one thing out of place.)

  6. Administrator says

    November 28, 2006 at 1:03 pm

    Hehe this post made me giggle.

    I’m so glad. Sometimes I wonder if my posts are ever a case of “Too Much Information” 🙂

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