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Not The Kind Of Cookout They Were Expecting

June 1, 2006 By Jenny Ryan Leave a Comment

Image courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

As I mentioned in my previous post my husband and I had a cookout this weekend in honor of the holiday weekend. But it almost didn’t happen, because I did something really stupid.

Thirteen years ago I was diagnosed with depression. It is normally managed just fine thanks to my wonderful support people and medications.

About a month ago things were going really well. I was happy, enjoying my life, enjoying my work, and enjoying people. So naturally I decided that the best possible thing to do at that moment would be to stop taking one of my medications. Just ‘cuz.

And what is even worse is that I did the same exact thing 2 years ago, and eventually I got to the point where all I could do was lay on the couch, breathe, and cry. So I knew EXACTLY what could happen, and I chose to do it anyway.

Fortunately I realized pretty quickly that I was on a very fast downward spiral, got back on my medication, and called one of my wonderful support people. And this was her advice to me:

“DON’T DO ANYTHING RIGHT NOW. Gag yourself with duct tape if you have to, and don’t talk to anyone. Because if you do, you could irrevocably mess up every single relationship in your life.”

So true. Especially when she asked me how I felt about people coming over for the cookout and my honest response in that moment was, “Well, I’d really like to chop off all of their heads with an ax.”

She replied, “Yeah, and do you see how that could put a tiny bit of a damper on things for them? That’s probably not the kind of cookout they are expecting.”

Fortunately by the day of the party the medicine had started to kick in, and I was once again able to sleep, and so I had a much brighter outlook on life. I was even able to enjoy myself with our friends, and I am happy to report that everyone left our house with all of their limbs completely intact.

I am also happy to report that The Power Greater Than Me Who Runs The Universe apparently knew that I was in need of a serious pick-me-up last weekend, and so sent me this very cool surprise which you can see if you click here.

Filed Under: My Mind Is One Scary Place, Oops...Do Over, Playing Well With Others Tagged With: cookouts, living with depression

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