Image courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net.
I’ve given this a lot of thought, and I’ve come to the conclusion that there just are not words to describe just how much I love my Black Berry.
I bought my Black Berry last year as a birthday gift to myself, and I have enjoyed it so much over the past year that sometimes it causes me to spontaneously burst out into verse:
“I think that I shall never see/a poem as lovely as my Black Berry.”
“Oh Black Berry, Oh Black Berry, how lovely is thy keypad.”
My Black Berry is like a tiny, tangible talisman of love. Whenever I hear it vibrating away as it receives some email I think, “Hooray! Someone wants to talk to me!
Of course to hear my husband describe it, my Black Berry love is less adoration and more addiction, but what does he know? Sure I like to have it near me at all times so as to instantly be able to access my emails, even to the point of keeping it right here on my desk with me as I work on my computer. And yeah, so maybe I did ask my husband to drive me down the mountain on which my in-laws’ house is located on Christmas Day so as to be able to receive a signal, despite the fact that they have wireless Internet connection at their house and I could technically do whatever I wanted or needed to do on my laptop. And yes, perhaps there have been times when I’ve awoken in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom and have been seized with the uncontrollable urge to check my email despite the fact that I don’t actually know anyone who emails me important information at 3 am.
And don’t even get me started on Instant Messaging and Text Messaging! (Oops! Please excuse me for a moment while I wipe the drool off of my computer screen.)
But anyway, the point of all of this is that now I can stay in constant communication with all the people I like without actually having to speak with them on the phone. Because, and this has been a deep, dark secret of mine for a LONG time, I am a “phonophobiac”. Yes, that’s right. I am afraid of calling people on the phone.
For a long time I was even terrified of having to place my fast food order into those speaker boxes they have in the drive-through line. But I was soon cured of that because, let’s face it, what doesn‘t an order of McDonald’s French fries cure?
If you’re reading this and thinking, “What?!”, don’t worry. You’re not alone. I’ve only met one other person who understands this fear of mine. Everyone else just looks at me as if I’ve just said something like, “You know, I’ve found that having to breathe in and out on a regular basis is really just too much for me to deal with.”
I recently tried to explain this to my family, but they just gave me The Look. You know, the one that says, “I hear the words you’re saying, but they’re…just…not…making…any…sense.” (Incidentally, this is a look that I am VERY familiar with, as I frequently see this same expression on the faces of my tutoring students.)
“So,” ventured my dad slowly, struggling to understand what I was saying, “is it getting any better?”
“No,” I sighed, rolling my eyes so hard that I temporarily severed important connections to my brain, “the whole point is that I finally realize that I don’t have to get better. It is OK for me to be this way. I am finally coming out as a phonophobiac!”
“So, you’re embracing it,” offered my brother, who is himself a Professional in The Art Of Being Unreachable By Phone.
And all was well for the next hour or so, until I heard my mother calling up the stairs for me to pick up the phone so I could talk to not one, not two, but THREE people on the phone ALL AT THE SAME TIME.
So you’d better believe that the gods of irony are going to be hearing from me about this, just as soon as I figure out how to reach them electronically. Um, does anyone know how to IM the Universe?
I totally get it. I loved answering the phone as a kid, but as an adult….I think I’m just sick of it because I have to at work. I strongly resisted getting cell phones but we took the plunge last Sept. The biggest benefit to me: I rarely have to answer the phone anymore! I give out my number to almost no one and we give our my husband’s to everyone else. I sometimes check his phone when it rings and he’s not around but only answer if it’s family or our best friend. I so love not having to answer the phone anymore!!!
YES! I’ve had too many jobs where I was the first line of contact for angry people who wanted to yell at someone over the phone! Thank goodness for electronic communications!
I am a phonophobiac as well . But not because i am afraid who is on the other SIDE 🙂 , but because i cannot control to whome i`m talking to , i can`t see the person i`m talking to , i can`t see his reactions, his gestures to the things i say . it`s like talking thru a wall , i can`t see what`s on the other side . :(((:((:(:( . And the thing is , that the other person could just hand up is you say something wrong just to piss you off . ! But i have high hopes with this 3G Sistem 🙂 Too bad not all my friends can aford it :(:( . If you found a cure to this , or just some drugs that make it go away, give me a ALL MIGHT EMAIL at email@example.com
Over from Flock.
You crack me up every time I come here – and I can relate to almost everything you write about.
I.do.not.like.talking.on.the.phone!!!!!!!!!!! I also have a torrid love affair with my Blackberry, we cannot be apart. My kids don’t like the talking on the phone thing either, and they have Blackberries too! We are a Blackberry family. The family who Blackberrys together stays together. It’s true. But now they are getting skype and want to talk to me AND look at me at the same time. Is this really like visiting in person? Isn’t it just a conspiracy to get me to talk on the phone?????
Nathan Briggs says
Yay, another phonophobe!