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My Name Is Jenny, And I MUST Have Access To The Internet

December 2, 2005 By Jenny Ryan 5 Comments

It’s a happy, happy day here in our household, because my Internet connection has finally been restored.

For the past couple of weeks our connection has grown increasingly worse, and I have grown increasingly more crazed.

As my husband has flitted from his office, to his various business-related travel destinations, to his various hotels, all with their perfectly functioning Internet connections, I don’t think he was really getting just how frustrated I was. When I told him last night that I was ready to throw my brand-new laptop-which I had just received a month ago for my birthday-out the window, that seemed to spur him into action.

He got online and set up an appointment for a technician to come to our house today (did I mention that his Internet connection was working just fine?) So I was starting to feel much better, until he shared the following observation with me.

“I wonder if we have rodents that are chewing through our lines?”

Then he said, “What are the chances of you going down to the basement to check that out?”

Have you ever been under the influence of an irrational belief so strong that, despite absolutely knowing that you are totally making this fear up, and despite never once seeing any shred of evidence that there is cause for this fear, it still powerfully controls your behavior?

I am that way about snakes. I am terrified of snakes and, despite all evidence to the contrary, I am CONVINCED that huge groups of snakes totally surround our house. There are certain places around our house where I will never go because I just KNOW that the snakes are waiting there to get me.

That information is important to this story, because in order to get to our basement you have to go outside, down the deck stairs, and across the backyard. There is no access from inside our house. So my husband was asking me to go outside, in the dark, past two of the places where the imaginary snakes live, into the basement, where he was pretty sure I would find REAL rats.

On the one hand, I suppose I could have been flattered that he thought I was brave enough to do this by myself. But I decided to respond with, “Are you insane?!”, with a little dash of, “Have you met me?!” thrown in to “kick it up a notch.”

I am happy to say that it was not necessary for me to go down to the basement last night, and even happier to say that when the technician was here he did not say one single word about rodents. And now our Internet connection is working perfectly.

Now, if I could just figure out who to call about those imaginary snakes…

Filed Under: CFG Grapples With Technology, My Mind Works In Mysterious Ways, Wild Kingdom Tagged With: phobias

Trackbacks

  1. blogflows » I Don’t Drink, But If I Started, This Would Be Why: Part 2 says:
    March 2, 2006 at 1:47 pm

    […] ust love scaring you. In the summer, rats attract SNAKES.” As I have mentioned here before, I am irrationally paralyzed with terror at the mere idea of snakes. So this information did not b […]

  2. Using My Powers for Good by Jenny Ryan says:
    April 1, 2006 at 7:08 pm

    […] t because 1) I was working with poo, and 2) I was working on the part of the lawn where the imaginary snakes live I was working very cautiously. This meant that the work preceeded only slightly faster than […]

  3. Using My Powers for Good by Jenny Ryan says:
    May 4, 2006 at 8:02 pm

    […] Wild Kingdom, A Moment In Time

    …so much as finding out that the Imaginary Snakes aren’t so imaginary after all.

    Permalink |
    Trackback […]

  4. Using My Powers for Good by Jenny Ryan says:
    August 16, 2006 at 11:00 pm

    […] he entire known Universe and one day be left with nothing new to read. 10. I am afraid of imaginary snakes. 11. I am afraid that if I ever resolve all of my issues with my hair and my weight that I will […]

  5. Using My Powers for Good by Jenny Ryan says:
    December 19, 2006 at 1:54 pm

    […] Phobias, Pets-I am deathly afraid of the imaginary snakes which I know completely surround our house. […]

  6. Magical Thinking-2, Reality-0 | Using My Powers For Good says:
    May 15, 2009 at 1:22 pm

    […] (For those of you who’ve been following my saga with the imaginary snakes.) […]

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