As you may recall, the reigning “Best Christmas Present Ever” on my side of the family is the fart machine my brother received a couple of years ago. So clearly, the gift giving bar has been set very high here.

However this year I believe the title will be passed on, as evidenced by the following presents given and received this morning.

First, we have “Rudy, the Tiki-headed tissue box cover”.

Next up was Peter Petri, the egg separator.

He comes complete with directions on how to make your eggs more or less disgusting, depending on the look you’re going for (the egg whites come out his nose).

But the piece de resistance absolutely has to be this gift given to my brother. You will probably not be surprised to know that it came from the same person who was responsible for the fart machine.

(In case the picture is covered up by the sidebar the box says, “Mr Moose: A flick of the tail brings a treat”.)

Of course Christmas had to come to a screeching halt so that we could immediately test out the moose. My dad volunteered to sample the first candy, and because the humor gods were smiling kindly on us today, the first piece that came out? Was. Completely. Black.