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You Don’t Know What You’ve Got ‘Til It’s Gone

November 9, 2010 By Jenny Ryan 3 Comments

But in this case, I was glad to see it go.

The past four months have been so hard for me, pain-wise. Which of course means that they have then been so hard for me, life-wise, as well.

Finally last week I decided to go and see my fibro doctor, to see if there was anything else I could do to help manage this STOOPID illness, and lo and behold, there was!

Instead of tweaking my Lyrica, which is so hard for my body to handle after a certain point, we tweaked an anti-depressant that also works like Lyrica, impairing your brain’s ability to feel pain.

And oh, how my world has changed in just one week. I started feeling better the very next day, when I realized that, in addition to the pain, I had also gotten stuck in a depression. That seems so obvious now, but of course I can never see it when I’m in it. The pain -and accompanying depression-ground me down so slowly, bit by bit, that it’s like every day another, slightly darker, filter is placed in front of my mind/vision, until the way I’m seeing and interpreting the world just seems normal.

And so, God Bless Antidepressants!

Unfortunately, whenever this happens to me I am unable to write. For one thing-and I am not exaggerating here-just the simple act of getting out of bed and walking to the kitchen to say goodbye to my husband in the morning feels like climbing Mt. Everest. And then add that feeling to every other action I have to perform merely to get through that day, and it is impossible for me to even pull my blog up on the Internet, much less use my mind to generate a post.

However: things are definitely looking up here in Cranky Land, and I am working on getting the words and the funny flowing again.

So thank you guys so much for sticking with me through all these ups and downs. It really supports me in being able to tell the truth about living with STOOPID fibromyalgia-even when it’s a bit (or a lot) dark and dreary.

OK-talk to you soon. And as always, May The Cranky Be With You.

Filed Under: Doing The Best I Can, I REALLY Hate Being Sick, Sometimes I Get Sick, This Is What Having Fibromyalgia Looks Like, This Totally Sucks

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