The Good Example

So in the last few months I have become both an aunt and a godmother to my new little nephew-YAY!!-which has led me to do a lot of thinking about Being A Good Example.

I feel like I used to know how to be a good example-a long time ago-but now I’ve forgotten how to do it.

Or… maybe not.

Maybe I should actually break down this hazy idea of “a good example” that’s floating around in the back of my head and see what this actually means to me.

(Helpful Metaphor Mouse Technique provided by Havi Brooks.)

Good Example=

[+quiet]

[+calm]

[+boring]

[+must find a way to have no personality whatsoever]

[+must hide who you really are]

[+must try to be what you think everyone else around you thinks you should be]

[+vanilla]

[+bland]

[+must tightly hold your true self under wraps]

[+Stepford wife]

[+never allowed to have any fun, because you might accidentally do something to offend someone, and then you wouldn’t be a good example anymore]

[+DEFINITELY no laughing. EVER.]

[+not anyone I’d ever want to spend any time with]

Hm. Well, according to this, I never actually was “a good example”

Which is great, because then hat frees me up to have fun conversations like this:

We’ve just finished a teleclass which required us to undertake some deep, personal self-growth work.

Teleclass Leader: “Great call everyone. And as we wrap up, I’d like to hear what you all are planning to do to “refill your well” after all of this work.”

Everyone Else In The Class: “Tea, yoga, a quiet walk outside, etc.”

Me: “A trashy novel and a cold  can of Coke!”

Or this:

Same kind of setting as before. A participant is asking what we would suggest to help clear and heal something nasty that someone else had said to them.

Everyone else: “Write about it in your journal, meditate, dialogue with it, find ways to show some love to your sad parts, etc.”

Me: “BURN IT! Write it all out and then SET IT ON FIRE OVER THE KITCHEN SINK!.  Extra-super-duper-bonus-feeling-better-points if you YELL at it while it’s burning.”

So, unlike “Being A Good Example”, I LOVE being me! Crazy, blurty, often inappropriate, frequently awkward, witty, funny, chronic-illness-ridden, charming  me. Outrageously so. No matter what kind of situation in which I might find myself.

And, now that I think about it, maybe that’s all the example he really needs.