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Apparently I Am Just A Big, Giant Magnet For Randomness

March 26, 2008 By Jenny Ryan 7 Comments

Here’s what I mean.

This afternoon I went to Barnes & Noble to get a couple of books to read this weekend in between wedding festivities for my sister-in-law.

I put my choices down on the counter and smiled at the bookseller who I knew by sight, if not by name, owing to the fact that the bookstore is my second home. And here is how our conversation went.

Bookseller: “How are you doing today?”

Me: “Really well, thanks.”

Bookseller: “And did you find everything you were looking for?”

Me: “Oh, yes.”

Bookseller: “Actually, Tina…”

Me: WTF?!

Me: (noticing that he and I are the only two visible people at the counter.)

Me: (looking around surreptitiously to see if I had accidentally transported myself into a parallel universe where in fact I was Tina).

Bookseller: “…something like 80% of homicides are committed by men.”

Me: hoping, HOPING, that he’s not trying to send me some kind of message. Because, did I mention the fact that WE WERE ALONE?!

Me: (smiling, in an attempt to look as little like a potential homicide victim as possible.)

Bookseller: “And the rest are committed by women. Mostly as a result of infidelity.”

And this is why I spend my days with cats.

Filed Under: CFG Says, What?!, People Say The Funniest Things Tagged With: weird shopping experiences

Comments

  1. yoshi says

    March 27, 2008 at 12:17 am

    wtf? um. weird? wow, I don’t know what to say!

  2. Square-Peg Karen says

    March 28, 2008 at 7:33 am

    ohmygod, I “know” that experience (the one where people talk to you in over-the-top strange ways) – but I’ve never been called by an alternate name!!

    nor, actually, have I had random (scary) facts given me. My experiences are of folks sauntering up to me (at bookstores, food stores, any old place when I’m not expecting it) and chatting (like we’re talking about the weather) out their confessions (if I’d been the next one to be waited on by your bookseller, he’d probably have talked to me about the difficulties he was having getting rid of the bodies).

    Weird world!

    Thanks for this Jenny – got me grinning!

  3. wendy says

    March 28, 2008 at 5:08 pm

    oh, i actually laughed out lous…..how hysterical is THAT?? and how freakin’ fast did you get outta there? what the hell? i can’t even imagine…..you crack me up, really, i love reading your blog. gives me a big ole lift…………..good news or murderous! have a great weekend! wendy from whidbey island

  4. Lianne says

    March 31, 2008 at 12:16 pm

    These kinds of things happen to my daughter all the time. She swears it is because she is supposed to write a book about all the strange people she draws in.

    Jenny.. you are hilarious.

  5. crse says

    April 1, 2008 at 7:16 am

    See, I live for exchanges like this. This made my whole day Jenny Ryan!

  6. sooz w says

    April 4, 2008 at 10:07 am

    welcome to the era where people have little thingees attached to their face or ear that are so small they seem like perfectly normal people until they appear to be carrying on a one-way conversation with themselves

  7. Vanessa says

    April 4, 2008 at 11:43 pm

    Okay. I think someone has stopped taking his meds…

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