“And now that we have access to a whole herd of angry bulls…”

-Grant Imahara, from the Mythbusters

Lately we’ve been watching “Deep Space Nine”, and I try very hard to pay attention to all the science and technology on the show, since I do not have a scientific background (or foreground either, for that matter).

I try to impress my engineer husband with my keen attention to scientific detail, but unfortunately it doesn’t always work.

Like tonight.

“Ooh, it’s really dark on that planet,” I observed, proud of my astute observational powers.

“Mmm, yes,” replied my husband. “That’s called ‘night’.”

Booth and Bones are in the U.K. to present at various conferences. While there, they become involved in solving a couple of murders, and are working with Inspector Pritchard of Scotland Yard.

Booth and the Inspector are questioning the manager of the Highgate Gentlemen’s Club, and have just informed him of the murder of one of its members.

Club Manager: My God. Two nights ago Dr. Wexler was buying drinks for all of his friends, and playing the tables as if he hadn’t a care in the world.

Booth: Was he with a woman?

Inspector Pritchard: No, this is a gentleman’s club, Agent Booth.

Booth: I didn’t see a stage, or a pole, or dancers, or anything.

Inspector Pritchard: No, an English gentleman’s club is for actual, English gentlemen.

-Brennan to Booth on “Bones”

But I am only one person, and so obviously I alone cannot formulate all the questions that need to be posed about our human existence.

This fact was brought home to me last night as my husband and I were watching an old episode of “Top Gear”, because I realized that never in life had it occurred to me to ask,

“Can a nun drive a monster truck?”

So clearly, in an effort to meet this evolutionary need, that is why God made boys.

-the man who holds the record for Most Watermelons Smashed With Head

-and the man who holds the record for Most Bubbles Blown With Live Tarantula In Mouth

Help.

After an awful lot of hemming and hawing, she told me that my sample had been located, and it had been analyzed, but no one was allowed to know what the report said.

So apparently I was wrong; my poo was not on the run. It was actually in the witness protection program.

Apparently the secrets it contains are so valuable to some (what was the effect of the drug on my illness) and so dangerous to others (actually, dangerous to the same people, as apparently releasing any information about my sample would unblind the study, thus causing the earth to crash into the sun and bringing the end of life as we know it) that it is being highly guarded in a secure, secret location. And I don’t have a high enough security clearance to have any further contact with it.

Well alrighty then. Now I understand how Sydney Bristow felt when the FBI wouldn’t tell her how they were planning on taking down SD-6.

-Jeremy Clarkson of “Top Gear” to his co-hosts, Richard Hammond and James May, as their show on caravans (campers) comes to a roaring end, after Jeremy’s attempt at cooking lunch destroys not only their caravan, but that of the complete strangers who were unfortunately parked right next to them.

But then last night I watched an episode of “Top Gear” and learned that some people’s jobs involve being able to successfully pass the (auto) “industry standard” Escaping From Army Snipers test.

All things considered, I think I’ll stick with grammar.

-Hugh Grant, when asked what he looked for in a car on the show “Top Gear”