10 Things I Will Not Be Doing Today

2009 July 16
by Jenny

1. Re-shingle the roof, single-handedly, or as part of a team.

2. Suddenly realize that golf is actually a rich, complex, multi-layered test of both skill and artistry .

3. Run anywhere, not even towards a soda fountain filled to the brim with the ice cold elixir of life, Regular Coke.

4. Attempt to explain to anyone between the ages of 14 and 18 why verbs are so foundational to both the written and spoken language.

5. Humor anyone who implores me to, “Say something in Spanish!”

6. Heal myself of fibromyalgia using only the power of my mind.

7.Cease to be afraid of snakes, either real or imaginary.

8.Receive a download of all the government’s secrets, thereby becoming the Human Intersect.

9.Finally unlock the secret to successfully baking desserts that include Cocoa powder as one of their main ingredients.

10. No longer need to be reassured that, upon stepping foot outside after dark, bats will not swoop down upon me in order to nest in my hair.

(Inspired by this post.)

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