Tentative

2014 January 25
by Jenny

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(Mostly) pain-free days are wonderful things, especially when they come after an extended flare-up.

But ironically, they can also throw me for a loop. When I’ve been hunkered down in survival mode for weeks and months at a time, I can’t just automatically switch over to openness and enjoyment. It’s too big of a leap.

I’m afraid to trust these moments of relief and fully embody them because I don’t know how long they’re going to stick around. It’s hard to relax and stop bracing against illness, because the inevitable return of pain after finally experiencing its absence can be heartbreaking.

They give you a lot of information when you get diagnosed with a chronic illness. But they never tell you about the kind of courage you need to be in pain and chose life anyway.

5 Responses leave one →
  1. 2014 January 25

    This is so true, Jenny!

  2. 2014 January 25

    P.S. I love that picture!

  3. 2014 January 25

    I love the picture and I can understand how difficult it can be. I hope you are in for a good stretch now!

  4. 2014 January 26

    Bless you! I too hope you have a long stretch of freedom and joy.

  5. 2014 January 26

    Thanks so much, guys!

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