Cranky Fibro Girl

Life

Jenny — Mon, 20 May 2013 18:26:22 +0000

This glorious, organic, daily mess where the flash of insight I need for my current writing project is followed immediately by the god-awful horking sounds of a cat violently expelling something really gross right into my left shoe.

The Difference Between Boys And Girls

Jenny — Thu, 16 May 2013 17:22:14 +0000

You know how when you’re little, your parents make up cutesy names for your bodily parts and your bodily functions, and then you get married and realize that your spouse’s family did exactly the same thing, but with entirely different ~~wrong~~ names than the ones you use?

I was thinking about this today as I was cleaning out that crusty stuff that forms in the corner of your eyes sometimes, and how what in my family we called “sleepy dirt”? My husband insists is actually called “eye boogers”.

The Fathomless Mystery

Jenny — Fri, 10 May 2013 12:47:48 +0000

Listen to your life. See it for the fathomless mystery that

it is. In the boredom and pain of it no less than in the

excitement and gladness: touch, taste, smell your way to the

holy and hidden heart of it because in the last analysis all

moments are key moments, and life itself is grace.

-Frederick Buechner

First World Problems

Jenny — Thu, 09 May 2013 14:40:05 +0000

So last weekend Mr. Cranky Fibro Girl and I went to a golf tournament, and after walking a bit of the course we decided to find some seats in the stands.

We ended up at the 9th hole, and saw maybe the last twelve to fifteen twosomes come through. According to people who know, the greens were terrible that day, which I think was the reason that we also saw three or four people get whacked in the head, arm, and chest by golf balls veering tremendously off course.

With his tongue planted firmly in his cheek the guy next to me leaned over and said, “See-that’s just another way that rich, white males are privileged above the rest of us. Because when I hit a golf ball like that, there’s no human shield there for me; my balls just keep rolling all the way down the hill.”

Busted

Jenny — Wed, 24 Apr 2013 13:30:10 +0000

“My only advantage as a reporter is that I am so physically small, so temperamentally unobtrusive, and so neurotically inarticulate that people tend to forget that my presence runs counter to their best interests.. And it always does. That is one last thing to remember: writers are always selling somebody out.”

-Joan Didion, Slouching Towards Bethlehem

Me Too!

Jenny — Tue, 23 Apr 2013 13:28:21 +0000

All I want to be
is a person who makes things
and thinks about them.

-John Maeda

This Tiny Post Is Sponsored By My Need To Conserve All My Available Energy So That I Can Wash My Hair Later On Today

Jenny — Thu, 18 Apr 2013 18:39:03 +0000

So, this is how my April has been going, as expressed via my Facebook news feed.

Saturday, April 6th: No one here can Air Guitar, but if there were a competition for “Air Kneading”, Tigger would win the grand prize.

Monday, April 8th: Saw this really great post about How Not To Say The Wrong Thing to people who are sick.

Also: It has only taken 15 years, but I have FINALLY completed our collection of all the state quarters. My little OCD heart is so happy.

Tuesday, April 9th: I’m listening to the workmen who are replacing the sections of my office wall that Tigger destroyed,and this is the conversation I’m hearing: “this brown wire…if you…I…BOOM.” I’m sure this is no cause for worry, right? Right?

Wednesday, April 10th: Dear Bailey: please stop staring, bug-eyed, at the front door as though we’re in imminent danger from a deranged serial killer. We both know there’s no one there, and you’re really creeping me out.

Friday, April 12: Looking forward to reading this book, In The Kingdom Of The Sick: A Social History Of Chronic Illness In America.

Sunday, April 14th: And yea, verily, the taxes were offered up at last, and lo, there was rejoicing throughout all the land, and the soon-to-be increased bank account did rise up and call the refund blessed.

Thursday, April 18th: Anxiously awaiting the arrival of my Amazon boyfriend. (Don’t tell my husband, but this will actually be his second visit this week.)

What’s been going on where you are?

That’s Not Something You Hear…Ever

Jenny — Fri, 05 Apr 2013 16:04:36 +0000

So I was at the dentist yesterday for a checkup and, not surprisingly, since it had been almost a year and a half since my last visit, the dentist informed me that I had some cavities.

He’d confirmed two of the suspect spots and was examining a third when he suddenly asked, “Do you smoke?”

“No,” I said, all my 40 years of Being A Good Girl rising up in horror that he might think such a thing of me.

“Oh, well this is just a really weird place to get a cavity.”

“I like to be unique,” I quipped.

“Yeah…I was really just hoping you smoked.”

And now I am very afraid.

Upon Being Kicked Out Of My Husband’s Office For Talking Too Loudly On The Phone With My Mother

Jenny — Sun, 31 Mar 2013 00:56:45 +0000

“Hm,” my mom said. “It’s not often someone tells you they have to leave a room because they’re interrupting someone’s space battle.”

The Only Ph.D I’m Likely To Have: Dr. Of Doing Things The Hard Way

Jenny — Fri, 22 Mar 2013 19:14:00 +0000

Dear Me:

When you are in so much fibro pain that you’re on the kind of medicine that they give to terminal cancer patients and it’s still not helping, it is not the time to try and figure out the meaning of life.