Since this Tuesday marked the one-year anniversary of my diagnosis of fibromyalgia, I have spent some time thinking back over all the different stages I’ve been through over the past year.
These include such stages as Denial, Resistance, YOU CAN SUCK IT!, Anger, Amnesia, Stupidity, Amnesia About Having Amnesia, Depression, If I Finish My To-Do List And Clean My Entire House, Then I Will Be Healed, I Hate Everyone-ESPECIALLY YOU!, Hibernation, Bargaining, TAKE YOUR PAIN MEDICINE ALREADY, DAMMIT!!, You Should Leave Me So You Can Find A New Wife Who Isn’t Defective, Magical Thinking, Mania, The Act Of The Sound Waves Of Your Voice Touching My Nervous System Causes Me Excruciating Pain, Having My Husband Walk A Few Steps In Front Of Me Like My Own Personal Bouncer So That No One Will Touch Me,If I Have To Lie On This Couch For One More Day Then I Will Kill Myself, If I Have To Lie On This Couch For One More Day Then I Will Kill You, In The Closet About Admitting My Illness, and, THE HELL I WILL ACCEPT THIS.
Lately I have been hanging out in a new stage-The Stage Of Bling-and have been shopping online for all kinds of fibromyalgia bracelets, rings, pins, and the like. I was telling my mom about this the other day because I knew she would be happy to wear some kind of supportive paraphernalia on my behalf, when we had the following exchange:
My Mom: “So, does fibromyalgia have its own color?”
Me: “Um, no-OH! Because other diseases TOOK all the good colors, so now we have to share.”
Apparently, when chronic pain is involved-around here, at least-all stages lead back to Being A Cranky Bitch.