The other day my husband and I were in Subway buying dinner. As we were placing our orders a couple of men joined the line, one of whom was wearing a shirt proclaiming, “Three Things You Should Never Say To Cops” (such as, “If I buy the donuts, will you let me off?”)

My husband struck up a conversation with the two men using the shirt as an icebreaker, and mentioned that we have a friend who is entering the police academy later this month.

As soon as he mentioned that this friend is a girl, one of the gentlemen piped up and asked, “Oh, is she hot? I’ll get her to pull me over!” I think he might possibly have had a mistaken perception of his own hotness, as he was sporting a wild and graying beard, a rather large belly, and might possibly have been wearing sandals with knee socks. (Important Side Note: And why is it always those people who think that the “hot people” would want to have anything to do with them?)

Yesterday we went out to dinner with the friend in question and one of her friends, who has been a police officer for the past two years. We recounted our little Subway adventure, which actually turned out to be quite tame compared to their stories (See: People Who Answer The Door Naked, People Who Attempt To Hit On Cops While In The Process Of Being Arrested, People Whose Gay Lover Wakes Them Up From A Sound Sleep By Biting Off And Eating One Of Their Fingers And Part Of Their Ear)

“You know, I’ve never been pulled over by a female police officer,” said my husband, “but if I were I don’t think my first thought would be, ‘Hm…sex’!”

“Well,” replied the veteran police officer, “that’s how you know they’re creepy.”