Image courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net.
Yesterday evening my husband and I went to the park in order to try and get some pictures of the mama duck and her babies that we had seen there the day before.
After we successfully captured them on film my husband went off to explore a different part of the pond, and I stood at the railing just enjoying the beauty of the evening.
Unfortunately my reverie was rudely interrupted by the words that chill me to the bone and fill me with dread, even more than, “We’re out of Coke,” or, “If this were a math problem“: “Oh, look, A SNAKE!” (emphasis mine).
Of course I looked, and of course it was much, much worse than I thought. Because not only was there a snake somewhere in the general vicinity, there was a snake lying right next to my foot which foolishly was clad only in my Birkenstock sandals, which meant that my feet were mostly uncovered, which meant that the snake and all of the skin on my feet were sharing The Exact Same Air at The Exact Same Time, which meant that basically, the snake and I were touching!
So after levitating directly up off of the ground and into the air using only the power of utter horror, I found my husband and managed to convey to him the urgency of the situation.
“Snake. SNAKE. SNAKE!!”
Or so I thought.
Apparently, since there wasn’t a snake actually connected to me in any way, he thought I was only upset that someone had detected a snake somewhere within a 100-mile radius of where I was currently located. And being a guy (who thinks that things like snakes are cool), he decided that we had enough time before we fled the scene for him to go and look at the snake, along with the father and son (of course, more guys) who had originally detected its presence and were even now cheerfully following its progress through the grass.
So when he finally caught up to me in the parking lot he relayed the conversation that he and the other man had shared.
My husband: “He said, ‘Yeah, that lady didn’t even know it, but she was standing right next to that snake’.”
Me: “I KNOW! THAT WAS ME! I’M ‘THAT LADY’!”