Hello. Cranky Fibro Girl here. Welcome to my little piece of the Internet.

I know there are many different ways you all have found your way here:

-you might be living with a chronic illness

-you might live with someone who lives with a chronic illness

-you typed the wrong address into your Web browser, and ended up here instead

-you clicked over from another website

-you’ve fallen, and you can’t get up

-you were knocked unconscious by a tornado, and when you woke up this is what you saw

-my mom asked you to stop by as a personal favor to her

But whatever the reason, here’s a quick little guide to let you know whether or not you’d like to explore this site any further.

You Might Like Cranky Fibro Girl If

-you are suffering from chronic pain and illness (Yeah, I know. Du-uh.)

-you believe that the fact that you are suffering these things means that, THE UNIVERSE HAS SOME ‘SPLAININ’ TO DO! And it needs to just go ahead and get started with this explanation RIGHT! NOW!

-you’ve never been much of a “joiner”, and now the fact that you have been inducted into this exclusive Club Of Sucking-without your knowledge OR your permission-feels like a cruel, cosmic joke

-you would never wish this pain and sickness on anyone else-except for those times when you totally do

-you find that lately, your use of the term “dumbass” has increased a thousandfold

-you find irreverence and the bashing of sacred cows to be extremely amusing

However, Cranky Fibro Girl is most likely not the place for you if…

-you do not believe that chronic pain and chronic illness are real. So not the right place for you. Unless you feel that public stoning would be a pleasant experience.

-you believe that people should be stoic and soft-spoken regarding their hardships. Which I clearly am not. Otherwise I would be called “Noble, Longsuffering Fibro Girl”.

-you know for a fact that if we would just think more positive thoughts/be a better practitioner of the Law of Attraction/repent of our sins and be healed/exercise more/exercise less/exercise differently/take this special nutritional supplement/do a detox/go dairy-free, gluten-free, sugar-free, caffeine-free, organic/become more enlightened/become less negative/or purchase your newly-developed, magical, fibromyalgia cure, which we can own with just 12 payments of $9.99 each, then we would be healed. I’d just go ahead and duck if I were you.

-you find irreverence and the bashing of sacred cows to be extremely offensive.

All right. So now that we’ve got that all sorted out, what next?

-Well if you’d like, you can always dive headfirst into the blog, which is where I share my witty, intelligent, thoughtful, well-crafted, and masterful pieces of what it’s like to be a real person living with a chronic illness jump up and down, wave my hands, and yell so that you will COME AND LISTEN TO MY STORIES!! Because I am funny! And cool! And awesome! And, apparently, still 8 years old!!

(Yeah. You know that kid who was was always hogging all the attention and was prepared, if necessary, to rip off all their clothes and streak naked though the house as long as it guaranteed that all eyes would always be on them at all time? That would be me.)

Or if you’d like something a little bit less intense you can always go and hang out at the clubhouse, where we grab our pompoms immediately seek out the nearest chair, paint our faces whimper, and hold a pep rally! and commiserate over all the ways that You Know You Have Fibro If

If you’ve recently been bulldozed over or sledgehammered through by a procedure, a policy, or a health care provider, then we are serving hot tea with pillows and blankets over in the How Not To Be A Dumbass Recovery Room. There is even a spiffy little, printer-friendly PDF that you can download just in case you feel you that a little “come-to-Jesus” meeting with your doctor might be in order.

And if you feel like you just need even more Cranky Fibro Girl (and who wouldn’t?), you can subscribe to the blog feed, and/orĀ  become a Facebook fan.

Thanks so much for stopping by my humble little Internet home. And May The Crankiness Be With You.